To Whom This May Concern

A letter to one of my friends that I'm too afraid to tell her about.

To whom this may concern:

I don't know why I feel this way, but I do.  I feel like I'm being replaced.  By him.  By her.  By all of them.

I feel like you're not making me a priority.  I want to be loved.  I want to be needed.  I want attention.  I'm just too shy and embarrassed to ask for that.  It would be asking too much to make me your first priority; your everything.

Before they came along, it was just us--24/7-- but now it's if you have time.  If you're not busy texting them.  If you're not busy solving their problems for them.

I compare myself to them often, asking myself if I'm not friendly enough, if I'm not pretty enough, if I'm too calm or good at keeping things inside.

I need you too.  Not just the "Uh huh.  Yeah I'm listening." side while you are thinking about or texting one of them.  The whole you.  To listen to, to joke with, to help me.

It gets to me, knowing that you keep things from me.  I wonder all of the time what else is going through your mind that you aren't telling me, and it drives me insane.  I've become obsessive and nervous and irrational.  I know you don't share your thoughts because you value me and don't want to scare me off, but I like being an important part of your life.

I'm sorry that I feel this way, and I don't want to.  I want to trust you and know that I am not ruining our friendship, but I'm not so sure.

Love,

Your Best Friend