A stripper got me hooked on coke

my first transgressive style experiment

a stripper got me hooked on coke,

"here this stuffs the best."

lately ive been thinking too hard with my dick,

so she laid my mind to rest.

(this is the part i will always regret)

i entered her,

and in the morning she'll forget.

we draw two lines before she leaves,

now shes out the door with my dignity,

shes now a painful memory.

im not the controlling type,

im taken advantage of frequently,

if only i could grow some balls,

i wouldnt get hurt so easily.

Reviews

[Moonflower]

This gritty, blatant and almost non chalant style of yours has slowly grown on me, usually I lean towards more fantastical and unrealistic forms of art, but your pieces always strike me deep, maybe just because they are so easy for me to relate to, but I think there is a certain genius to this style. Keep writing, my dear, and I'll keep listening to what you might have to say.

[Ashley]

nice but maybe you could add more about the stripper like how she turned you on, and maybe you could add how you two snort together. or make the poem more intense. so far so good though.