The Cage

Writing for the darkness of my life

The cage has bars no eyes can see

Yet, I see them all around me.

The cage, its blackened bars closing in,

Blackened with the smut life gives.

Smothering me with the cold heart-wrenching stench of dark,

No room for hope, just sorrow,

The darkness closes in,

The light is going away.

Becoming claustrophobic…

Goodbye world.

Wait-I don’t want this!

How do I get out?

This cage does it open?

Where is the key?

What is the key?

The cage has a key no eyes can see,

Death, May you be the key?

Will you take this sorrow away from me?

Or do I sit and wait,

Pondering day to day,

Wondering what is to become of me?

Oh, sweet death

How you kiss this pain in me.

I reach for life, but you, you ease away this suffering.

Reviews

[Fantasyfairy]

The new lines you have added really give the poem more depth, "becoming claustrophobic" really adds that touch to it.
"The darkness closes in,
The light is going away.
Becoming claustrophobic�"

�Death, May you be the key?
Will you take this sorrow away from me?
This is still my favourite lines of the poem. Well done again on making a good poem, a great one.XX

[emz]

Wow i really liked this poem.... i think we have all felt that death would be better than life at some point in our lives.... i truly enjoyed this write

thanks

[Michael X]

The cage.. as to remain in suffering
crying out to a world turning a cold ear
.. and when it comes down to feeling
sorrow when walking among shadows
kissing the air of death..searching for hope
in suffering as darkness envelopes
the heart in ways that keep heart bound
grasping for key of understanding..
i loved this poem.. thank you for sharing

[Phill Oz O'fee]

The darkness of the mind and soul, as a result of persistent feelings of hopelessness and dejection, have manifested into a poignantly descriptive composition.

I felt a great sadness of heart when I read this, as the thought of death, being the only release from burden, seemed too finite a solution in resolving the issue.

Fascinating and creative write!

God's Blessing
Phillozofee

[Victoria Lee~]

This is really good Penny. So empowering. I wrote about a self-imposed prison too.. and was delighted to stumble across this great write : )

[Leigha Hoffner]

thanks for your submission.

[Emily B]

Wow! I could feel the anxiety in the words. This is really something.

[V. K. Harris]

Very dark and intense, Excellent write.

[S. P. Vaporis]

i really like this one penny!! very deep.. How you kiss this pain in me is a superb line!