Prologue

“I thought so” Brom said “you’re an azul dagon grenzi” this time was with hesitation “an azul dagon grenzi what’s that?” Eragon asked “azul dagon means dragon and grenzi means lover” Brom said answering his question Eragon and Saphira look at each other
Oh no Saphira he knows
There’s no use in keeping it a secret
 Eragon could tell she was scared “there’s no use in separating you two” Brom said a little scared of what Saphira might do. Saphira started to hum happily.

the next day they had to move at a quick pace but Saphira didn’t move so she stayed behind. Eragon and Brom came upon a dead end so they went back but Saphira still wouldn’t move early that night Eragon discovered an egg a dragon egg Saphira was so desperate to protect .

Reviews

[ApplesAreAmazing]

There are a few spelling mistakes and there should be a comma before you put the ending quotation marks. Also, you need to capitalize the start of sentences. I don't really understand what's happening. Is it about a dragon egg or something? What inspired you to write this?

[phantomcristal]

eragon and dont critazis me

[ApplesAreAmazing]

I'm not criticizing you! It's called constructive criticism which helps you because its constructive.

[phantomcristal]

im 12 reading eragon *glar*

[dw817]

Take it easy, Ki-Chan. Normally writers add a bit at the bottom to tell others to ignore spelling and grammar if they just want the story read without it being critiqued for form. Hang in there. :)

[ApplesAreAmazing]

Yeah, but everyone needs some constructive criticism....

[ApplesAreAmazing]

I didn't mean any offense to anyone.

[phantomcristal]

whoa where did you come from

[ApplesAreAmazing]

Do you mean me or dw817?

[dw817]

Not if it's not requested by the reader, Apple, and 12 can be an age where you want everything at once with no consequences, I know cause I felt that way too.

And we're not in school, we're home, we read for enjoyment - but yes - you had no way of knowing. I'd just stick with the story elements for Ki-Chan's works. :7

[phantomcristal]

dw81 7

[ApplesAreAmazing]

What's not requested by the reader? And I'm 12 two but I don't really feel that way. Plus, my birthday's really close to phantomcristal's too. I read for enjoyment, too. Are you guys related or friends?

[phantomcristal]

yay .

[ApplesAreAmazing]

oops too not two

[ApplesAreAmazing]

I actually said a lot of "too"s.....ignore them.

[phantomcristal]

huh ?

[ApplesAreAmazing]

Umm....never mind.

[dw817]

I know Ki-Chan a bit. Just don't wanna see any meltdowns on such a lovely evening as this. :)

[phantomcristal]

never mind what ?

[phantomcristal]

meltdown ?no such thing ( i dont believe in meltdowns)

[ApplesAreAmazing]

@dw817 Do you know her from online or personally? What do you mean meltdowns?

[phantomcristal]

um .... i not in stress

[ApplesAreAmazing]

What do you mean?

[dw817]

Well =I= most certainly have had meltdowns before. ^.^ I get really emotional about stuff and start yelling and losing my temper, but usually only in real life.

Online I try and stay calm, cool, and collected.

[ApplesAreAmazing]

Oh...how old are you? Older than 12, right? What do you write about?

[phantomcristal]

12 dragons

[tuvi]

Hi Phantomcristal ,

firstly I liked the name given to the book ... its sounds a bit mysterious ...
you have done a good job of captivating the reader through the Prologue ....
looking forward to read the next chapter ...

Good Luck !!

Regards,
Tuvi

[phantomcristal]

the book this was based off of is Eragon