I Stand in the Center of the Good

This was the title of a book on Native American art and it inspired me to come up with this poem. It seems everyone is looking to stand in the center of good yet always seem to come short.

I stare into the circle of the good
gazing with longing eyes at the center
dreaming that one day I can end
up standing there alone.

The circle is empty, swirling
rushing clockwise like a spinning record
All have ambition to reach the center
but they lack the power to enter.

I jump into the outer circle
and immediately get pulled into
the rush of the on going crowd
trying to reach the center.

Try as I might I don't reach it
Every now and then I am able to
get to the inner edge but some
hidden force always pulls me back.

It is night fall now and I am tired
I leave the circle and go to bed
I dream all night of the day that I can say
that I stand in the center of the good.

Author's Note

This is an old piece I wrote almost 15 years ago. Poetry is not my thing but I do feel I can belt some out if I have the right inspiration. I'm looking for some insight here basically. Is this good? If not, what can make it good?

Reviews

[Shante Payne]

This is really good. It's free verse and that's great because it sends a powerful message. The only improvement you could make if you wanted is to give a bit more insight about what the circle is and why it is so important to be standing in the center alone. That would only be the cherry on top, other than that this is great.

[Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin]

wow. this was a really good poem. I like the fact that it has this meaning, well to my understanding (i don't know if it was intentional), that even though a lot of people try, sometimes, it's just not going to get there. But there is also an air of determination, that even though one can't stand in the Circle of Good today, one can still aim to be there despite all the trying. Great job. Good writings to you!
-Yin