I pledge to the Exit

Shining in the dark,

the bloody roses,

convey,

hide the loss,

yet prove,

Deathes.

The dark shadow,

laughs that strangle,

a hand,

blue cold,

black dirt,

long thin fingers,

no nails,

reaching,

wanting.

A sound,

shrill,

beat,

thump.

A dancing light,

an exit.

Empty stage,

an exit.

A simple,

silent freedom.

A myth.

You pledge,

to a barrier,

of bullet shells,

of bloody tears,

of evil flaws.

Author's Note

reviews?

Reviews

[Jaffa Forbes]

I liked this a lot. It sparks the imagination and seems i think to meet the reader any place and yet still have a full character of it's own. good stuff!
Jaff

[Brandon]

Definitely great imagery, nice job overall

[lauren emily]

What wonderful and dark imagery, we have here! I love how you set the piece up..the lines are short, but..I don't know. I just like the flow of everything. Great work :)
~Lauren

[Lalli]

imagery was certianly the emphasis of this piece. conveyed very well. the message definitely hard to comprehend. I feel it was of a soldier who pledged.. but i only am lead to believe this through the ending lines of bullet shells.. otherwise i thought you were trying to capture the moment of death, which i feel that 3/4ths of the poem did a great job of doing. nevertheless enjoyed the piece.

have missed your writing. sorry for bein such a stranger for so long

much love n' respect

-Lalli

[Sarah]

This was creepy!!! Very dark imagery here! Particularly the hand without fingernails - that's pretty skeevy! LOL. But I really did enjoy this poem - the short lines made it read almost like a chant, which added to the haunting factor of the poem. One possibly typo though - is "Deathes" supposed to be "Deaths"?? That's what I read it as, and it stuck out to me mostly because it's on its own line. Just wondering. :/ Otherwise, awesome poem!

[A.r. Bazian]

not bad, not bad at all!
i loved the flow of emotions, and the simple structure, some pieces like that appeal to me, in spite of the fact that this particular style isn't favorable on my side!
but never the less, i found this piece to be deep and emotionally provoking...
tag me further... will ya?
keep it up