November Lane

The moon is full, shining with all its glory
the stars twinkle on the clear November night
A truly beautiful magical sight

The chilled air reddens my bare cheeks
the slight breeze blowing dishevels stands of hair
And I ponder do you really still care

Unknowing gives me, a glimmer of hope
Keeping the heart still intact, almost whole
Except for the half of it you quietly stole

Or maybe it was forever given away
Doesn't really matter on the how or why
Just that this blazing love, I can't deny

Wind blowing, shaking reality into view
Fingers cold from the freezing night air
Memory lane vanished, but still I care

Reviews

[O Bubbly_snowflake *]

It really does touch you so much.
Its so subtle and calm, it moves you with every word. You're word choice is really nice, and the structure is really good too.

But if i have to be nit-picky; i'd say having so many commas ruins the flow. Like you have this beautiful rhyme going on in the last two lines of the stanza and having a comma in there, personally, ruins it. This is just my opinion, but consider it. It isn't the point where you want your reader to pause

But that doesn't stop this from being a great read : )

[StacyPerry]

I enjoyed this write due to it reminding me of a song. Well told.

[Cafe Reader]

This is really pretty writing!

[Alicia™]

It does seem like a very lonely poem… It's beautiful, and haunting. I love the aura that comes off of it. I don't usually like fancy colored fonts, but I think this purple matches the vibe.

I have a small problem with one line, though. "Unknowing gives me, a glimmer of hope." I understand that the comma is meant to make the reader pause, and it does add a nice rhythm to it, but it's grammatically incorrect… Another thing: it'd be better if you put punctuation at the end of (some) lines. Other than that, it's a wonderful poem! Great job.

[Frantzuu]

This is a beautiful piece, the words paint a clear image in my head as I read it. Awesome write!

[Robin]

moving poetry

[The Warrior Poet]

What I like about this is the fact that it isn't the trite and jaded "stroll down memory lane". It's a snapshot, a feeling, a quick drift sideways (to could/should/would have been) but not backwards.

[MissWordSmith]

i liked this, calm... saddening... thoughtful... deep... beautiful.. i could see it all happening.
i like the subtle confusion that the words speak of too... they made it even more... delicate? yup.
great write here!

[Dinesh Sairam]

xaa xbb.. I've only seen it in one of Abdul's write. But for this one, I think the refrain "The moon is full, shining with all its glory" would have done better. I like it as it is though. Nice rhyming, except for "Why, deny" and also look at the second stanza.. You might wanna change the rhyming words :) Keep writing.

[Wondering Mind]

It's lovely how you used the breeze to trigger off your memory and emotions.