Forsaken Departure

Forsaken Departure

A Poem by mae-mae<3

I've forgiven you

For everything you've done

You may have broken me in two

Or pulled the trigger from my gun

But all of that has been erased

From my memory you see

I can faintly still remember your embrace

But it'll all be gone when I count to three

One: The times you've said you loved me

Too many times to count

Two: All the fights we've had

I get the final shout

Three: All the hurt you've brought me

That pushed me to the edge

All the memory of you

And the memory of me

Dissapeared at the count of three

When you pushed me to the edge

Hell is so close

And Heaven is hard to reach

So very hard to reach...

© 2009 mae-mae<3


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I like the concept of counting from one to three. However, I do not understand why you named it forsaken departure. It actually seemed to me like the girl(or at least I assumed she was a girl), was already giving up on the guy. She seemed to have forgiven him and was meaning to forget him at the count of three. Only I don't get why it's a forsaken departure. To me it's more like a departure from the past, but I guess there's something in your poem that I must have missed. Anyway, over all, your piece is still a worthwhile read. The counting kinda gave me the feeling of having a count down until the limit. Once the count has reached three, everything ends there, all the pain, the heartache, everything; it simply means that the limit has been set and reached. Three signifies goodbye although it's a painful decision. Sometimes we let go because we have to, not because we would be happy to. Well, I guess that's how I understood it. Good Poem. Expressive and a bit angst.

Keep Writing. ^___^



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

If WC had a Like button for writing, I'd hit that. :-)

Posted 10 Years Ago


i love this piece. every line counts and well, simply put, it was amazing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


"I get the final shout"

best line, in my opinion.

but i really liked the rest of it--like if you could wish a person away--this is how you would do it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I like the concept of counting from one to three. However, I do not understand why you named it forsaken departure. It actually seemed to me like the girl(or at least I assumed she was a girl), was already giving up on the guy. She seemed to have forgiven him and was meaning to forget him at the count of three. Only I don't get why it's a forsaken departure. To me it's more like a departure from the past, but I guess there's something in your poem that I must have missed. Anyway, over all, your piece is still a worthwhile read. The counting kinda gave me the feeling of having a count down until the limit. Once the count has reached three, everything ends there, all the pain, the heartache, everything; it simply means that the limit has been set and reached. Three signifies goodbye although it's a painful decision. Sometimes we let go because we have to, not because we would be happy to. Well, I guess that's how I understood it. Good Poem. Expressive and a bit angst.

Keep Writing. ^___^



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

u convey emotions very well. good work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is very sad. ): Makes me think. I really like this though, dispite the negative type of emotions shouting from this.

Very nice write.
-Madeline

Posted 12 Years Ago


Well I like it, what are your thoughts?

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on May 9, 2009

Author

mae-mae&lt;3
mae-mae<3

All Over Dover, DE



About
I no longer have a computer available unless i sneak onto my sisters when she's away. :) Dispicable me. I can only write decent poetry when i'm in a state of depression. but throughout the day i'll th.. more..

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