Forsaken Departure

I've forgiven you

For everything you've done

You may have broken me in two

Or pulled the trigger from my gun

But all of that has been erased

From my memory you see

I can faintly still remember your embrace

But it'll all be gone when I count to three

One: The times you've said you loved me

Too many times to count

Two: All the fights we've had

I get the final shout

Three: All the hurt you've brought me

That pushed me to the edge

All the memory of you

And the memory of me

Dissapeared at the count of three

When you pushed me to the edge

Hell is so close

And Heaven is hard to reach

So very hard to reach...

Reviews

[Lorraine]

I like the concept of counting from one to three. However, I do not understand why you named it forsaken departure. It actually seemed to me like the girl(or at least I assumed she was a girl), was already giving up on the guy. She seemed to have forgiven him and was meaning to forget him at the count of three. Only I don't get why it's a forsaken departure. To me it's more like a departure from the past, but I guess there's something in your poem that I must have missed. Anyway, over all, your piece is still a worthwhile read. The counting kinda gave me the feeling of having a count down until the limit. Once the count has reached three, everything ends there, all the pain, the heartache, everything; it simply means that the limit has been set and reached. Three signifies goodbye although it's a painful decision. Sometimes we let go because we have to, not because we would be happy to. Well, I guess that's how I understood it. Good Poem. Expressive and a bit angst.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Alyssa Dufresne]

If WC had a Like button for writing, I'd hit that. :-)

[topsyturvy]

i love this piece. every line counts and well, simply put, it was amazing.

[brinkley]

"I get the final shout"

best line, in my opinion.

but i really liked the rest of it--like if you could wish a person away--this is how you would do it.

[Nathan Noble]

u convey emotions very well. good work.

[Aekmy]

This is very sad. ): Makes me think. I really like this though, dispite the negative type of emotions shouting from this.

Very nice write.
-Madeline

[mae-mae<3]

Well I like it, what are your thoughts?