Blood Lily

A poem I wrote about a picture I found of a flower; I included the picture with the poem

 

 

Blood red lily

You dangle crimson, fair

White and red

Dark and light

The yin and yang you share

Exquisite

For your nature

We shall take in turn

As we yearn

Staring at crimson petals

A bloody halo

Standing proud

Protrouding in a shroud

With a tiny, yellow peak-a-boo

Glimpsing from the crimson

Mosaic

Reaching out to be captured

Waiting for the yellow-black

Vampire

Waiting to suck, yearn for

Your divinity

Poor Bloody Lily

You don't know

and you stay open

Pretty and unbroken

Like a child's heart

Oh pretty blood Lily

Close up your fragility

For once my delicate flower

Please be smart

For we treasure each part

Of you

That makes your beauty tower

 

 

© 2012 Emily Dickinson Jr.  All rights reserved

Reviews

[Augustus]

What I really admire about this poem, is the progression from the descriptive to the metaphorical. The transition between the two is seamless. In the beginning, the reader can relate to the picture, and tries to look at it through your eyes. And then, you start weaving in the metaphors and make the reader turn inwards, trying to find human equivalents for every line. I love the way you project the beauty and innocence of the lily and contrast it with the "yellow black vampire". First, I like the contrast in colours: red and white vs yellow and black. Lovely visuals there. And I especially like the reference to the vampire, given that the lily is "blood red" in colour. Overall, the poem is coherent and thoughtful in its presentation and remarkably beautiful in its conception. Marvelous job!

[John Phoenix Hutchinson..]

Congratulations this poem has been "approved" for publication in...

THE MAGICAL MYTHICAL MYSTERY COMPENDIUM.

-Fantasy and Factual Poems of the Arcane.

By John Phoenix Hutchinson and Others. (c) 2012

Please feel free to submit other poems as you are not limited to one entry. Also please write a short "bio" about yourself and send to me via private message. This will be published along with your poem. Thanks J.P.H.

Anyone wanting to make Submissions to this Writers Cafe "e" book Project can do so on my group page, the deadline is 1st of November 2012.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

I have to say that this poem set a bit of a puzzle for me. I dont doubt its excellence and you have some great reviews etc as per my requirements for inclusion. I wonder though if such a flower poem had a place in a book of this title.......but then realized after several reads that because of the metaphors used this poem could be taken 2 or even 3 different ways which is magical in itself. So I decided to approve it.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm glad you understood my reason for submission! :-) thats actually my favorite feature of this particular poem. That it's metaphors make it so versatile and that it can mean many things depending on the intent of the reader.

[Caradoc]

Greetings from the host of the contest "Of Blood and Eternity".

I am impressed by this poem and your creativity. For being entered into a contest about vampires, blood and the concept of eternity, this wasn't at all what I was expecting to find. Reading this was an unexpected pleasure. I delighted in the way you wove your tale of the blood lily and the black and yellow vampire. The metaphor was very clever and it made me both smile and laugh to myself.

As to picture which inspired this piece, I think you did well in choosing it. The words you use and the description absolutely work for me. And if one were to go by the comments of others, I am not alone. You have skill and talent and it shines in this poem.

So, thank you very much for entering my contest and sharing this with me. I wish you much luck, as you have some stiff competition from several poems, including such titles as "Eternal Love", "Dark Sanctuary", and "The Curse From Madame Rouge".

Out of curiosity, what contest did you write this piece for?

-Caradoc

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank you so much for your kind words!! It is my pleasure to be in your contest and I can only hope my talent allows me to shine most bright over the poems of the darkness. the contest I had entered was called greatest imagery and it was hosted by allyson wolfe I got second place.

[TheJordBaker]

I chose to read this poem for the enticing title, and discovered a powerful piece of poetry. It's a difficult but rewarding way to write if you can use an image as your start-point and let your mind run with it and you've done that perfectly.
The lines that stood out for me were:
'Poor Bloody Lily
You don't know
and you stay open
Pretty and unbroken'
Nice work :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx so much!! I'm glad you liked it! :-)

[James William Dyer]

"bloody halo". I like your word choices, descriptions and metaphors. The poem was a bit long, but nothing seemed wasted. Enjoyed reading it.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm glad you like it :-) I love me my metaphors lol

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

beautiful and inspiring photo ... your poem even more so

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx so much Samantha!!!! I rly love to hear it.

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

ur welcome

[Sheila Kline]

You have started your write it a stunning photo of the lily which you say you have obtained for a contest. It is a good choice for a write to follow of the nature of which you speak as even the image of the flower may invoke different thoughts in a person's mind. I have read your other reviews so I know of your thoughts of the contest, and somewhat the nature of your preference to use the metaphors, which I always appreciate in one's writing, as I also often use metaphors- so many so that at times I am not sure what I actually do mean....lol...anyway, back to your lovely poem. I admit I am led to think of it as the woman, and the innocence that is too often taken away because of the beauty which is seen by another, but not appreciated enough for the "taker" to respect how pure and lovely it is! You have put much thought into your write.........this I can detect even within the metaphors! You even advise the pretty blood Lily to close up your fragility.

Good luck with the contest!!! I do not know the nature of it, but you shall hopefully have a good chance with it as your poem is very good (just a suggestion to check the spelling of "tresure".....might be "treasure"....( I only offer the check to help you my friend, as others have done me in my journey of writing.)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm glad you like my style!! I like there to be many different meanings in my poems. I haven't heard from the contest yet but I have my fingers crossed. You'r right about that reasure I'll go and fix that right up! :-)

[Sheila Kline]

Yes, I really do wish you the best as your poem is very good!!!

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm glad you think so, hopefully the contest owner agrees ;-)

[Sami Khalil]

Nice poem...

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

im glad you liked it :-)

[Sami Khalil]

Yep ...

[Castonovia]

Love the pic, your inspiration for doing this poem, it's very vivid and there are many different ways to interpret it even though it's description... the personification of the flower is beautiful indeed :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I'm glad you like the pic I it got off a contest. You know I was just rying to dscribe the flower but for some reason I just cudnt leave it at that

[Southern Cross]

Perfect imagery, intense nice photography as well

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thanx it's not my photo though i got it for a contest :-) I hope I place well

[Southern Cross]

Wishing you the very best of luck :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

Thank you for the luck! :-D

[Steven Cash]

What is this one about? The flower I mean?

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

well I'm just describing the flower but I supose it could be taken metaphoically to in many ways.

[Steven Cash]

ok, gotcha

so you just meant a flower? ok

great poem, btw

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

lol thanx I wrote it for a contest thats where the image came from :-)

[Steven Cash]

oooh ok

contest still open?

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I think so

[Steven Cash]

I may enter...