[soul dancing]

[soul dancing]

A Poem by Sarah Ott

A mantra I wrote for myself many years ago


part one:


you were there for me/

when this child face knew emptiness too early/

when darkness felt around my room and in it things of nightmare gloom/

the things no child should ever dream/

you held me and i let you go and found a way to forget the mess/

and f**k it all for worse or best. but you never got to cry for that/

you never got the voice to speak/

and so now please take my hand in time/ we'll dance in smallest feet with rhyme/

and color our heart with red and blue/

and show the world what got us through-/

so take this walk with me.



part two:


you were there for me/

when i needed to know the truth/

when i had to speak it regardless/

but when i had to see my root/

and turned to twist but all become that none of this is better done/

for who could hurt me worse i thought, but here it is he's got them beat!/

the very seed my soul should need, i need it not I need it not/

but you were there and i am here to let you know we need it not/

and we will shuffle through eyes wide shut/

and show the world what all we've got/

we'll take this skin, its blood not thin, we'll make it work/dismiss the jerks/

and find it lovely in the end/

i'll tarry with you in search for sense, in search of timeless mends and things that never end-/

so take this walk with me.



part three:

you were there for me/

when i hollered terror and ...NO!/

and no one in the world could hear the scream inside except you my dear my soul you keep the voice alive/

and though the moment has almost let us die/

and though i returned thinking i was better off, and this is as good as it got and i'm the kind of person that deserves to be so got/

i've found a way to let you know: it won't make us and it won't break us and that won't take us any farther than it has/

and that voice is louder than any flag could stand any prouder for we have found indifference together!/

we have learned the truth and what it's not and though no book was made for us or rules to follow spelled, we have conquered and created heaven in a place that know true hell/

we have died and come alive and through it all we have survived/

and you were there when no one was/

and so we sing in grandeur praise that if they heard they'd be amazed/

for what earthly soul could gracefully accept the pain they gave and the hurt they made and still walk away with a stronger name-/

so take this walk with me.



part four:

you were there for me/

when i couldn’t face my own/

when i walked in trainwreck footing and followed hungry mouths/

and let them eat and they devoured our very fruit, our purpose, our flower/

they took from it and gained to power and i lost myself in that very hour/

but you were there and i got out if it weren't for you i'd be that doubt that kept me down

and fucked with me/

and i fell down and grabbed the ground and held on tight and let them take without a fight/

but i won't do that i won't anymore cuz/

you were there then and there before and held my heart while i was gone/

and you waited for me and made me strong/

and so my soul, let's dance with this let's take the moment and carry it/

and show this life all it can be/

we'll take its lengths and all its strengths unknown to you and me/

and we will gain a better time, we will know a better time-/

so take this walk with me.



part five:

you were there for me/

when i wanted to forget/

when i didn’t want to feel, and i wanted to be unlet/

when i had to make it worse and i had to f**k it up when i had to eat the goodness and not mean anything to anyone or anything/

and there you sat in hopeless fat and i skimmed from the top of every day, the darkness that can't fade away/

so be here now we sit in this and wonder where is any of it but it's in you, you've held it there 'til i came back or for the first and found anew/

my heart though worse form all the pain, the depth, the shame; you kept my blood like shelter, stayed warm and let me know/

i cannot give away it all for you have kept the best for last/

and now that best will be forever and that will be far better than any day in our broken past/

and we will climb every mountain they give us and we will take the challenge each day/

we will rise above the hell that kept us down and put us in cell and stole the key/

we stole it back and we will find our way on back to life that means more than they can know/

we hike through trails they'll never know, we fall from skies that can't let go-/

so take this walk with me.



part six:

you were there for me/

when i tried to pretend it was good and i didn’t need you to live and i could find happiness in the ways I like to give and here is someone i can give to that doesn’t mind me giving/

so i pretended it meant a damn to anyone else but us and kept on with my vowless face in veil unseen, in ring unworn and loved like forever and nothing was better except what i wouldn’t admit to myself/

so you held it for me 'til i got help/

and i'm sorry i put you through all that noise and i wouldn’t even let you have a voice/

but let's not dwell on things well done cuz i gave it my all and you kept a little back and now we're here on this open road with no one to tell us which way to go/

and so how 'bout this way, another side of Y/

we'll march through the faces and hit all the traces and unmark the makers that made us before/

we are not the abused and we will not be let loose except from the bars that held us so far/

we will take the challenge and conquer every midnight/

we will see in better light and shine in grandeur spots of sight/

and they have never seen such glamour as we pose in our faulty step and stammer/

but we'll survive we always have; without you soul, i never would have/

so let's go find a life to live and give it away in baskets of love/

hand outs for people who don’t know the way/

we'll walk along beaches of better days-/

so take this walk with me.



part seven:

you were there for me/

when i could not swim in water/

when i could not be my age or know a better father/

when i thought the truth was all they said, i knew no absence but the soul of my head/

and no pride i carried nor any hope for you/

i had nothing to capture or try and no reason to live and no reason why it's not better to die/

and the marker on the gallon that told me what to drink is the very b*****d that told me what to think/

but you were there for me and listened to the hero that couldn’t be there anymore but he was there 'til then/

and more and he held us like sunshine and gave us a path to trace/

until we could find our own, until we could grow and make it known/

so for him and for you i take this stand now and grab it by horns and run along somehow/

with strength we didn’t know we had but we just take it and go with that/

cuz it's all we've got and it's more than they will/

so come with me and i'll show you what fills/

a life and a heart and a soul and a skin and no one who is empty will ever enter in/

and we will carry goodness and we will care for them/

though they might never understand we'll show them 'til the end /

so take this walk with me/~

© 2012 Sarah Ott

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THAT was quite a run... welcome back.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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Added on April 3, 2012
Last Updated on April 3, 2012
Tags: soul, transcend, forgive, fears, childhood, depth, conquer, strength, perseverance, mantra


Sarah Ott
Sarah Ott

Mesa, AK

Over the course of my life I have discarded (for one reason or another) so much of my writing and every time, I have a sense of deep loss. I am appreciative now of just how personal my writing is.. more..

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