Another Stupid Love Poem

the title explains it all

i could tell you

you make me smile

i could tell you

you make me laugh

i could tell you

your my best friend

but you already knew that

i could tell you

your one of the very few people

who puts up with my polar bear obsession

that always makes you laugh

i could tell you

the music you listen to is so old

it makes me giggle

i could tell you

all of this

makes me realize that maybe

i want to be more than friends

i could tell you

but i wont

because that would just make this

another stupid love poem

Reviews

[GamingGal]

Pros: I love repetition, especially if it's a single phrase, which you use quite well in this poem. It's a very well balanced poem, following a structure of repeated line, new line, repeated line, etc.

Cons: The only thing that could be done to make this better is take out "this" in the line "this but i wont." It's an un-needed word that, in my opinion, slightly stunts the ending.

Overall: Very good poem, I especially enjoy how it ends. Good job :)

[Hannah Paige]

haha awh this is cute. i think a lot of people feel this way at some point, i know i have.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Love the twist at the end, cool stuff:)

Yas

[Sarah E. Pearson]

besides the few already-pointed-out grammar crap things, i adore this. its so easy to relate to (well except the polar bear obsession xD) and its so wonderfully written. in it you try to make it not a love poem by not 'telling', yet in a way it still is but im pretty sure that was intentional. xD still, amazing write. i love it.

[Shawn Pfister]

in every instance of your, you mean you're. you forgot the apostrophe in won't and none of the I's are capitalized. The lack of punctuation makes me wonder if the polar bear obsession makes you laugh or if the love interest does.

Now that I'm done with the grammar, I like the self-consciousness of the poem, that you're trying to not make it a love poem. I like that the only reason to not profess your love is that then this would be a love poem. It's so bull-headed and cute.

A side note, the music, are we talking Backstreet Boys old, Kurt Cobain old, Devo old, Beatles old or Mozart old? Something specific here, instead of general could be nice.

[Erinne S.]

Aww this is such a cute little poem! The repetition adds to it and makes it unique in a way.

Great job!

[Nothing Personal]

It's a cute little poem about changing tides in a relationship written in a language of the heart..I like the conversational poetry that you created..Very nice, Julie !!

[A]

Sweet and adorable poem!
The repetition was in its right place, I really liked it, an enjoyable poem :D

[Adam :P]

good repetition!! excellent

[Jesse Jacques]

i thought it was amazing, there were no errors that i could see. good job.

[Radiohead]

Excellent poem, my dear. Keep writing love poems, you'll get there soon enough.