Valor for Hire

A funny tale about a perhaps "not-so brave" knight

              Valor for Hire   copyright Justin Alcala 2010

Galloping upon faithful stead, I make my way to destiny. For you see I am Sir Vincent Galliard, first knight of the order. What order you ask? Well the Order of the Itchy-Dragon of course. An Order constituted to protecting thee fair maidens from any line of foul creator or malevolent spawn. It’s a tough line of work, a calling that only a rare type of individual can answer to, that I call my own. And though I risk life and limb around each corner turned, I take great pleasure in the simple reward of knowing that some blushing damsel’s family will be alleviated of all concerns through the might of my sword.

 

            And such is my current quest, one fit for only the bravest. I am off to the town of Karbalan, which has been plagued by a vicious troll for the last decade. It is upon recent rumor that the youngest and most alluring daughter of the wealthy governor of this town has been captured that I cast the charity of my best efforts. With my healthy steed between my legs and stiff blade upon its sheath, have I weathering the frigid country side, journeying towards my battle with this foul terror. And if this particular governor who is in dire need of my assistance were to say, oh, bequeath me with compensation for my committed time, well it would be ill-mannered of me to refuse, for such is the etiquette among those who understand valiance and gallantry.  Or perhaps if this governor were to offer me his enchanting daughter’s hand in marriage so that I might protect her, along with her affluent estate, who am I to reject such a request?

 

            Ah, and here it is the lovely town of Karbalan, a town enriched in…gah, thatch roof cottages and sheep. Hmm, nay quite what I had expected, however perhaps its appearance is a little less grand then what the herald had reported do to its hoarding of riches for a rainy day. “You there good sir, where is your good governor’s manor?” “What’s that you say, fourth hut to the right?” Oh dear, most disappointing. Well, no need for pessimism, let’s hear what the governor has to say. I’ll just give a good knock on his door here. Oh, looks as if there is no door, I’ll just come right in.

 

            “Hello, anyone here?” Perhaps he is still grieving with in the confounds of his…”Oh good sir. I am Sir Vincent Galliard of the Itchy Dragon. I’ve come to rescue your daughter who has been cruelly apprehended by the wicked troll who plagues your village.” Perhaps he has refused to wash in despondence for his loss. “Mistaken your daughter for a female troll? I’ll need a strong cart to bring her back home you say?” Well, looks aren’t everything. Besides, as I’ve said before, I do this for the reward of knowing that I can clear the conscience of a parent. “You appreciate my efforts, but can nay offer even a farthing for her rescue?” Well, while I’m here I might as well have myself a look. Besides, word of victory against a monster such as a troll can lead to future requests upon more prosperous families. “Good dirty governor, where has this troll been dwelling?” Under the bridge he says, a common dwelling spot for trolls. “Then the bridge I shall go. I shall not return until your portly daughter is in safekeeping.”

 

             Now normally I would urgently heed into battle, however on this particular occasion, I do feel a bit of scouting is in order. This rickety catwalk hovering above that pond must be the bridge. I’ll just go ahead and have myself a look here. Most likely, it’s not even a troll. Usually tiny gremlins, goblins, or other critters get labeled for trolls, which are easily slayable. No need for the public to know what exactly had been hiding there. Besides, we don’t want to confuse the community with intricate details that they’d most likely just muck up anyhow. Alright, let’s see what we have here. I see some dead fish, a deer’s head, and a…GIANT TROLL! Breathe between steps, hurry, hurry; stupid armor, so darn heavy. Oh bother, it’s still chasing me. There’s my stead, let’s just take a hop up on the saddle quickly. “Run for the hills boy! Chop-chop.”

 

            These things have a way of working themselves out. Moreover if I were to save this little bumpkin town, how would they learn how to defend themselves in the future. I won’t always be around. Lastly, I need to make myself available, for somewhere out there a certain select family is in need of a hero to rescue a beautiful, wealthy maiden. And when that time comes I’ll  need to be present to dash over the hills and make my way to destiny.

 

 

 

           

Reviews

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

Haha! That was great! The tone of your narration totally fit the story, making it even more funnier and more interesting! Great job!