A Poem by alegria

Even in pain even in sorrow we fight our life for tomorrow,
Despite the grief and the lost sleep searching the path meant to be,
Finding light, finding sunshine to guide along the steep slope of reality,
Life is about finding eternity, its about attaining peace, overcoming sorrow,
We discover our very inner soul, find and achieve our ultimate goal,
Walk towards our destination to change our today and tomorrow,
Seeing the mixed colors, all along the walk, along the journey called life...

© 2011 alegria

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Lovely piece.
Words spoken very honestly.

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Considering carefully what Shafeeq has to say, I would nonetheless observe that your use of the English language has improved markedly since I first read your work. There is also a greater maturity in the concepts you present.

Concentrate on understanding the use of punctuation to control the flow of your work and to provide a more coherent structure for what you have to say. May I suggest you read Strunk and White's, "The Elements of Style", published by Longman. Although it is directed at writing prose, there is sound advice on the effective use of punctuation.

Oh, and by the way, I most respectfully disagree with Shafeeq on one point: There most certainly is room for stating the obvious. Indeed it is one of the poets strengths; using abstract, unusual or striking combinations of words to draw attention, and thereby refreshing a reader's awareness.

Posted 11 Years Ago

Nice idea.
As a poet we need to pay close attention to words, and to form too. For example, "fight our life for tomorrow" can be a very poetic statement - if it is meant that way. But here it is not. Because the poem is about life and the rest of the poem is constructed as a narrative on how to save life, this line "fight our life for tomorrow" becomes just a mistake. But had the poem been constructed differently, it is truly poetic, in the sense fighting the quotidian for the sublime.

Second thing I feel, and of course you needn't share my opinion because it is juts that - an opinion, is that poetry is not about stating the obvious in a very abstract way, like "its about attaining peace". I would say there is more poetry if one says "one dog ear to shelter myself from my encroaching newspaper". It is not an excellent example and I am not an excellent poet either, but I hope you get the point.

Read what you have written once. "We discover our very inner sole" - sole! Shouldn't that be 'soul'?

Posted 11 Years Ago

An accurate portrayal of the effort we engage to come to self understanding. An informative write.

Posted 11 Years Ago

I really like this poem :-)
Life is indeed all about change, strifing and fighting, discovering new things and learning perpetually.
I also love the flow of it.

Posted 11 Years Ago

WOW, I have never read such a more honest and open piece. I really like this cause of the words and the meanings behind them. It is so truthful and real. Really nicely done!

Posted 11 Years Ago

plz give honest reviews:))

Posted 11 Years Ago

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8 Reviews
Added on November 18, 2011
Last Updated on November 21, 2011



bangalore, India

im emo gal...jus done wid BE and i love writing...alegria means happiness in spanish...when ever i write any thing beat bad o thing which i get is immense happiness in writing it.... more..

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A Poem by alegria

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