A Man of Quality

Of the human qualities I admire most, honesty, humility and modesty are at the top of the list. Not everyone has them, as you must know. One who did was my stepfather, Archie Hicks. A highly-decorated veteran of WWII, he was a soft-spoken gentle giant who never bragged about anything, but especially his war experiences. Very little did he ever relate on the subject; Just a bit about being in the same outfit with another soft-spoken guy, Audie Murphy, and how they did many of the same things together and were offered commissions at the same time. There was something about General Patton slapping a soldier--I remember that. Another thing was the injury that put Archie out of the war. He'd just ran through the entrance of a church in Belgium when a mortar exploded nearby.

He said, "I was still conscious and could see my helmet laying over there with a big dent in it."

Shortly after he and my mother married and I went to live with them, I found a rotting cardboard box of his military items in a falling-down storage shed. There was an Army dress hat, various papers, and several medals. Like the box they rested in, they were all ruined. I was thirteen and didn't understand why he didn't take better care of them. Archie had bad dreams that sent him to the VA hospital from time to time. Maybe the doctors knew why he let his medals rot.

Typical of all the WWII, Korea, and Vietnam combat veterans I've ever known, Archie had little to say about the war. It seems that when you've really been there, you're not going to talk about it.

On a few occasions, a friend of Archie's would tell me a story or two about him--things that he, himself, would not have revealed. I'll not go into those, but the main message was that mild-mannered, easy-going Archie was not a person to be messed with.

Perhaps this is a bit out of order, but there's one more thing I need to relate about my stepfather. This is ugly stuff, but I feel a need to say it.

My parents divorced when I was seven and my younger brother, Bobby, and I were put in dad's custody. (Mom wanted Bobby, but not me, believing him to be the son of someone other than my father) The years Bobby and I lived with dad were not very nice. If you viewed photos of us from that period, we look like starving orphans, and in many ways, we were. Dad was just not capable of taking care of us, so we went hungry, ragged, and unattended, like two "free range" chickens. For six years we lived like that, and then mom married Archie. Soon after, Bobby went to live with them in the next town over, about 25 miles away. Bobby at first had no friends there, so mom and Archie would bring back him back on the weekends. This had not been going on long when I noticed how well Bobby looked. He was bathed, wore clean clothes and had combed hair. I knew he'd been eating good, too. I wondered if I might also go live with them.

The next Saturday, as mom and Archie dropped Bobby off, I said, "Mom, I was wondering if I could come live with you, too."

Her answer was fast, brutal and loud. "Hell no! I'm not about to let a goddamned little Claude Dickens live with me!" (She'd called me that many times before, verily despising my father and seeing me as a smaller version of him)

I shouldn't have expected anything different from her, but still, I was crushed. I looked down at the floor and said, "Well, okay."

Archie, who I barely knew at that point, said, "Sammy, get your clothes." Mom twisted her head and gave him that murderous glare of hers.

"No, mom doesn't want me to." I replied, still looking down at the floor.

"Come on." he insisted.

"No, I can't."

Two weeks later, they brought Bobby back for another visit, and mom told me I could come live with them. Obviously, Archie had worked on her. In later years, mom came to love and care about me, but I don't know if she ever would have if my stepfather hadn't talked her into taking me in. Archie has been gone twenty years now, and I have to wonder if God will ever make another one like him.

Author's Note

I've changed the emphasis of this quite a bit from the original version.

Reviews

[Renée]

For the new version ... Now that is a Real Man & a real gift ! And reading this..made me want to put that little boy in my lap & rock him drying his tears..but someone did tenderly take that boy under his wing...
life can be so harsh unnecessarily..I don't understand why people and parents can be so cruel...but Thank God for the Archie's .. and Thank God..for the strength you have!
And Thank you for sharing this precious piece of your life with us Sam ! ( : ((hugs))

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. Archie played a huge roll in my life. He was a simple man, but you would've liked him.

[Renée]

I can tell how Huge.. he alter the course & saved your life ! and you know what Sam..in doing so... you two boys enriched his life also .... I wouldn't have just liked him... I would have adored Archie

[Claire Twinn]

This was both uplifting and heart breaking, told with real respect and admiration for a fine person.

[New Dawn]

I can relate to this Sam, I had a wonderful step-father who wandered into my life in my 20's and had a massive effect on all my family. He was not only a true friend to myself and my husband but a loving grandfather to my daughters. He left my life as suddenly as he arrived - having a heart attack one sunny Good Friday morning. I can't begin to tell you of the hole he left in our lives. he too had been a soldier and was such a solid tower of strength, I am eternally gretful that he became a part of our lives. Your Archie sounds like a solid guy - I'm so glad he wandered into yours.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you so much. In both our cases, we and others around us benefited greatly from someone who we shared no blood with, yet became "family" as much as anyone could have.

[myrt2013]

Moving story. We could use more like this one where a human being's honesty and humanity changed a boy's life. In the process, another person had a change of heart, thanks again to the same good man. A good message throughout.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you so much. I, myself, hadn't realized just how much had been affected by Archie's involvement until I wrote this.

[myrt2013]

Unknowingly to you, your gratitude was always in your heart. I am sure your stepfather was aware of how much he had meant to you. The world is full of ingrates but those are overshadowed by the ones who appreciate acts of kindness. Affectionate and well written.

[Gray Witch]

Very telling tale Mr. Dickens. You were very lucky to have had such a role model in your life. I believe it has helped make you the man we see in your stories today. Too bad some people didn't have to take a test in order to be awarded children. I fear a lot of them would have failed.... My father was a WWII veteran and one day soon I will tell his story....

[Samuel Dickens]

To drive a car, people have to pass a test, but for the most important job in the world--raising children, there's nothing. Thank you for reading and for your kind words.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Where I come from our state motto is Esse Quam Videri..."To be rather than to seem." I've always loved that as it fits most of the North Carolinians I know. My daughter says I am, "painfully honest"...(laughing)...probably why I am a bachelor...but I just say what I think and what I feel and consequences be damned...if I can't be myself...I sure don't want to be anyone else. I do appreciate humility and grace, good manners and tact but I appreciate honesty even more. Like the old saying says, "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining." (laughing) Or as the Bible Proverbs so tactfully state, "The wounds of a friend are faithful but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." The bottom line for writers is the same as it's always been..."The proof of the pudding is in the eating."...I can usually tell if a person has any real talent or apptitude by reading their work...no matter how loud the rooster crows. But it's been my experience in life that those at the top seldom if ever disdain those at the bottom. It's those climbers you have to watch out for stepping on everybody's head on their way up the ladder. I've met millionaires as nice and common a folk as you could ever hope to meet and I've met social snobs who barely had a pot to piss in and they were in hock or debt for that pot. There are always boasters and braggarts everywhere you go but most of them are just full of hot air. From the other end of the spectrum however, we have the logical fallacy of "I'm just as good as anyone." The beautiful girl never says to the homely girl..."I'm just as pretty as you!" The rich man never says to the bum on the street, "I'm worth just as much as you are."...why? Because it's an obvious truth that there are levels of worth and beauty and the lesser always aspires to the greater. Such are the semantics of existence in a society...even wolf packs have rank and file. And the Alpha dog never eats after the lesser members of the pack. Assertiveness is sometimes demanded to prevent bullying by the masses. These days we have everybody crying and whining about being bullied when in my day (and your day too) we just stood up for ourselves and took our punches but bloodied the nose of our opponent in the process to make their victory (if they had one) costly. I liked Carly Simon's song, "Dishonest Modesty" in which she said, "I don't expect humility but what about some good old dishonest modesty." I'll never be "politically correct" as I don't believe there is such a thing since all the politicians are liars and thieves. I enjoyed your rant. Hope you enjoyed mine. (laughing) Cheers my friend.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Fabian. I think your rant might have more rant in it than my rant. Actually, I've just posted a new version which isn't really a rant anymore.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Aww shucks I liked the rant aspect... ;o) Incidently my dad was a WWII veteran who never spoke a word about his service. I later found out he was in the Pacific Theatre with the 5th Beach Batallion Amphibious Forces... in very heavy combat...he was always my hero.

[Samuel Dickens]

As he should have been. They rose to meet the challenge.

[Renée]

Amen Sam .... you understand much better than i ..but the men who served I have know have those qualities and many more...we long to hear those kind of men and if they speak... we bend our ears to listen respectfully
but blow hards will be just that..no matter where they are or what they are doing...

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you, Renee. I want to believe that there are still folks of quality out there, maybe just not as many as there used to be.

[Renée]

I think there are as many Sam..I really do..

[char]

I tend to believe in the modest, not the ones who incessantly brag. I think those are pathological liars. Well, that's my opinion on this. I love this write. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you, Anna, and I agree completely.

[Marie]

Am I one Sam?

My father wasn't one to talk about his war experiencesHe never showed his medals.

My husband had no medls to show and no war experiences to brag of. He was fourteen when he joined the Army and thought simply that the best time he'd had in his life was during WII.

[Samuel Dickens]

Marie--of course not. You're a quiet, well-mannered grown up. As it applies here, the quality of your work does all the talking, and I believe that is the way it should be.

[Michael G.]

Good thoughts, Sam. I would have liked to have known your step father. He sounds like many I've known from that time.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thanks, Michael. Yes, I'd say Archie was a lot like others of his generation.