The day before

A Chapter by Muhammad Qasim

"this is my last job, i will never even look at the past after this, I will change, i promise" he monopolized convincingly." if u dare leave this time" angrily came the wife's reply "i will not allow u to enter this house anymore, either u die tomorrow, or live today ".Roared he "i do this because i want a home to return to "as he ran out the door, thrashing it in its hinges leaving the question of the wife, "what do u mean??" unanswered.

He dashed to the street, moved inside the car, leaned over the shotgun passenger as he brought out a white bag from the dashboard and handed it to the brunet men in a melanoid coat with a sooty hat. He opened it and took out a black mask, placed it in his palm, pulled the ribbon and adjusted it behind his head, with the black mask now covering his face, he took out two more, passed them to the passengers sitting in front and asserted “lets do this", with perspiring face, he planted his foot on the paddle, accelerated with a screech sound leaving obsidian tire marks on the road and was on his way.

He stopped on the opposite side of a bank, and said, “take it off, we don’t want to look suspicious, hold your horses till it gets dark, and we will heed our call and get it done”. Ya ya, i know, it’s just 5 more hours. “ Sighed the backseat passenger.

4 hours <=+*+=> thirty minutes

Later

Wake up, wake up, he shook the passenger around him forcefully to get them awake. “We fell asleep, we have only thirty minutes till it gets twelve, at twelve we infiltrate, for it is the hole in their security, two minutes that it takes when the guards change, that’s our cue, get ready" Came a fearful face "stop yelling out our plan, what if any1 hears us." intercepted the third guy, "stop it u 2, fighting like girls that is, just get ready and then we move."

Truing truing rang the cell phone in the shotgun passengers pocket making him shake to get it to stop ringing so the voice won’t get them discovered, he moved his hands in and out of his pocket smoothly and picked it up with a face like he was bullied by bunch of people just then, he said in the phone:

Hello

The rain is

With a shocking expression on his face, he checked his pockets and brought out a piece of paper, it was blank; he turned it around and read, "White" in the phone.

Good

Thank you, is this Omar

Yup,

We r going in, in 10, don’t worry

Marvelous, now give him the phone,

Here, take it shotgun passenger said to driver. He kept it on his ear

"Remember what happens if u betray us" came a voice right before the dial tone for the phone by then ended.

© 2012 Muhammad Qasim

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Reviews

The dark story

well.i saw few short hand notations and the absent of punctuation marks somewhere..well that's not the issue as long as it's understandable.....but all this signifies that you have posted them in a hurry....
"The rain is"..that's a code.right??.or tell me if im' wrong....the quotes were missing there and that's why i thought that it was something like the description of the environment in the first shot......
i think it would be more better if you would give us a bit physical description of the men.especially the protagonist......it would give us a clear picture of your characters...

but anyway.i like the concept of the story..driving us instantly into the action..the way you ended it arouse a great curiosity in me....and it is really intriguing....wanted what will happen next.......wanted to read more of it.but no hurry.take your time.....
i think the next chapter would be more thrilling......nice work and keep it up........