a very long life together prologue

victorian age American romance about a girl named Sophie, her childhood friend, and a young soldier.

Chapter one

I still remember the first day I saw Ezra across the road from my family home. It was the day that my life began, where I began to become myself. I was hiding in the bushes in our yard, watching the house in front of us, my father told me there was a new family coming that day and  I could not have been more excited. I had no siblings, and spent most of my time with the imaginary characters who reluctantly went on adventures with me. 

I will never forget when I saw him. He was the oldest and tallest boy I had ever seen, with fiery red hair and big hands, I had no idea that boys could look like that. I was eleven and him thirteen and I knew that he was mine, destiny deemed it that we were to be the best friends the world had ever seen.

...

“Sophie!” Yelled Ezra to me from underneath the piano.

“I found you!”

He sighed, and reluctantly made his way out and into the middle of the living room. His hair was ruined from brushing up against the bottom of the piano - he was getting tall. His old hiding spots did not serve him as well as they once did. Ezra was obviously upset that I’d found him so quickly.

“I don’t want to play this childish game anymore,” said Ezra, crossing his arms across his chest and shaking his head. My heart dropped, this was something we always did together, and he thought it was childish.

My eyes welled up with tears “well you can just go then!” I did not want him to go, but I had not felt so much betrayal in my short life quite yet.

“You can’t tell me what to do!” Ezra yelled back at me. Suddenly, we were shouting back and forth at each other in the middle of the house, possibly loud enough for the neighbors to hear. We were so consumed in the midst of our fighting that we neglected to realize that my mother had snuck into the living room and was fervently watching us.

I felt a cold hand brush my shoulder, “Darlings,” it was the voice of my mother- Ezra and silence filled the living room.

“What’s the matter here?” Her voice was calming like a warm blanket, I’d never known another human that possessed the skill to speak as softly as her. She was my tutor as well as my mother, and had the temperament of someone who was phased by absolutely nothing. She carried the knowledge of a thousand books and a thousand hours of reading, writing, and playing piano with me. She was the only person in the world who could solve what felt like the most world cruising scenario in my young life.

Ezra, between sniffles reluctantly responded, “I do not want to be Sophie’s best friend anymore, she only ever wants to play children's games.” My mother moved her other hand to cup the back of Ezra’s head, she stroked his hair in an effort to bring a calm to his heart, she always knew what to do. She had been his tutor as well.

“Is this true Sophia?” She asked.

“Yes mother.” I said, looking down at the carpet and pressing my shoes into the floor, my eyes welling up with tears. “Hide and seek is my favorite game.”

“Ah, I see.” My mother looked puzzled, she furrowed her brow and pressed her fingers to her lips. “This is a very troubling situation, especially since you live right next to Ezra, how will you see eachother everyday without fighting? Whether it is fortunate or unfortunate, we will all live a very long life together.”

I knew she was right, especially if Ezra and I were to keep our promise of always being best friends, I would have to find a way to maintain an acquaintance with him. Ezra shot his hand right in front of me, trying to avoid making eye contact with me.

“I call a truce, if that’s alright.” 

I could not believe he was ready to make amends so quickly, so I tried my very best to appear calm and cool,“Well...alright.” I replied, grabbing his hand and reluctantly shaking it.

I did not know the ways my mother was right and the ways she was wrong when she talked of our “very long life together”. At twelve, I did not understand much more than the silly  boy who lived across the moors from me and the members of my small family. At the time, knowing that I was doomed to live a very long life with anybody seemed tedious, unfortunate, and utterly grown-up to me. 

“I would like to be clear” I turned to Ezra, whose face was flushed from the upfront talk with my mother, “just because we have a long life together, does not mean that I love you.”

Ezra smiled, the friend I’d always known seemed to return to me in that moment “and I, you. Girls are disgusting anyways” 

I had no idea what was ahead of us.

Chapter two (six years later)

My mother passed away in the morning. 

She had been lamenting of intense stomach pain for weeks, but was so fervent of not receiving care as a means to not disturb my father and I. My father called the doctor without her permission, and had she not been so exhausted and immobile in her bed, would have fought my father to the death for him to not bring a doctor to our home. 

But my father, as he had told me so many times, had never loved somebody so much in his life until my mother and I, and could not live with the idea of losing her. 

The doctor was quick to deliver us news about her condition, which appeared to only grow worse at the appearance of her yellowing skin and thinning hair. She was suffering from an infection of the organs in her stomach, my father refrained from giving out too many details. 

I was seventeen, the only life I had ever known was a life spent by her side. Until that moment, I had not considered that I would navigate growing into a woman without her. 

“Good morning, Sophia.” 

That was what my mother always called me, but the voice in my room was low and the hand that touched my shoulder was rough and warm. It was my father, and in the rising sun of freezing, early morning, I knew what he was going to tell me. My chest immediately ached, I was in so much pain I felt it in the palms of my hands. My heart was breaking, the tips of my fingers and muscles in my arms all felt like they were on fire. I knew, right then, that there was no part of my body that would ever feel the same.

“If you’ll come down when you feel ready, I would like to talk to you about your mother, little bird.” My father slipped his hand away from my shoulder. What was once the happy, calm, strong voice I knew so well was quiet. The house was silent. Everything was mourning. 

I managed to bring myself out from my bed, I loosely braided my hair with a small white clip and clothed myself in the first dress I saw in my wardrobe. I knew that the only way I could continue to move and breathe was to act as if my heart was not the captain of my body. Instead, I would let my brain, my stomach, and my hands be in control. I splashed some water on my face and straightened my back in the mirror. My honey eyes were crowded by dark grey circles that made me look as though I had not slept in days. The bottoms lids were swollen nearly shut and my lips were raw and red, it was obvious that I had been holding back a stream of tears. 

But this was not the time to worry about things as superficial as my appearance, my mother was lying dead somewhere in the world. Her body cold, her hands and legs blue. She was gone, and for that morning and many mornings to come, I knew that I would be gone too. I retreated to the cold air of the foyer, where I knew I would not be alone.

“Sophie-” it was my sweet friend- Ezra. He rushed to me immediately, and wrapped his arms around my body. His show of love had enough force to trigger what felt like a fainting spell I had felt the whole morning. I let his strong arms hold me for just a moment, my friend had grown so tall over the years, and strong from working on his father’s farm. Ezra was my faithful walking stick, what I used for balance in my darkest moments. 

“I could not be more sorry to hear about your mother” he said. 

I moved away from him, enough that he could see the darkness that surrounded my once bright eyes. “It’s alright, Ezra. She fought long enough to make it until I was seventeen to be the official lady of the house.” This was a joke, of course, and it brought a sad smile to both my friend and I’s face. We were both hurting, and though this was not a time for making fun, nothing sounded more ridiculous than me being the lady of the house, or my mother ever insinuating that I should ever have been persuaded to.

“Where’s my father?” I asked, assuming Ezra would know with his family being so close with mine. 

“He is with my father and mother right now, coordinating memorial arrangements if I am remembering correctly.” In any normal situation, a young lady and a young boy would never be able to stay in the same room without a chaperone together. But I had never shared an inkling of romantic inclination with Ezra before, having no need to after all. Ezra was a brother to me, much older as well. He needed a wife, and though my mind was preoccupied with the untimely death of my mother, I’d always held close the fact that I was not, and would not be the marrying type for a vast amount of time. 

“Sophia” Ezra said, his voice wavering for just a moment. He never called me by whole name, I thought for sure the death of my mother was affecting him more than I thought.

“I know this may not be the right time, but I must tell you something. I’ve been thinking about your situation…with your mother and all.” My friend was visibly nervous. His hair had only grown redder and more unruly with time. He was looking at his shoes, something I had only ever seen him do at his most insecure. 

“I believe it is in your best interest to get married. I believe that it would also be in your best interest, well, to marry me.”

As if the morning had not been a whirlwind of chaos for me, Ezra had stopped by to throw a sentence such as that in my face. I was numb and nearly painless in an attempt to ignore the incredible despair I felt in my heart. My mother was gone. My best friend had just proposed to me, what was left of myself felt completely hidden in the corners of my heart and my stomach. My life was no longer my life, and I was no longer myself.

“Do tell, Ezra, why would be in my best interest?”

“Well-Sophia-as it stands, right now you are the lady of your estate. Your father is growing old, and soon he will not be able to work everyday. You have just finished your schooling, and though you continue to stand tall in the midst of all this tragedy, I still believe it would be in both the best interest of you as well as your household.”

My legs felt weak as I sank down in a chair in the foyer, I wanted to see how I might be able to test to see if my realities were reality. My life was not real, and I was surely asleep. There was no feasible way that my mother was dead and that my friend was asking me to marry him out of what he deemed his responsibility as a significant man in my life.

“Ezra, my dear friend I am quite sorry but I cannot marry you.”

At the moment, I felt that the only thing I could hold on to was what my mother left with me. I would not settle for a life that I did not want. I could not believe that this man was even asking me such a question and such a time, but I could not bring it in my heart to scold him. Only to reject him, I would honor my mother even in her death being just moments ago. I was not myself, the entire world had been turned on its side, but I was left with the concrete promise I made to my mother upon the limited knowledge I’d gained on the universe by the age of seventeen. I would not settle. Not even for a moment, even if it meant security.

“Sophia I-”

“Ezra please.” Both of our eyes were pooling up with tears, I knew he had kind intentions and the bravest of hearts, but I could never consider risking my dear friendship with him. Not today, not any day.

“Do not apologize my dear,” I cupped his cheek with my hand, over the years he had become such a brother to me. A faithful confidant, I would trust him with my very life, the soul I would not bear for anybody else.

“Besides, who's to say we would not tear each other to shreds?” We both laughed a sad, quiet laugh. Our hearts were low, Ezra had spent almost as much time with my mother as I had, and her absence in the house felt like a gaping hole. Our pathetic laughter seemed so fruitless in the light of the morning’s events. He took my hand as friends occasionally do, and I was not alone. Suddenly, I was still enough to acknowledge the beating heart of the world, and fully understand that despite my insatiable need for the sun and moon to stop moving, the universe, in fact, continued to turn. For the first time, and what would not be the last time, I began to weep.

Author's Note

this is VERY MUCH A WIP. mostly looking for feedback <3