Affairs of the Heart

loosely generalized observations ;)

Affairs of the Heart

For every man

who wins her heart

A man stands in shadows

torn apart

For every woman 

who finds her man

three are broken

unable to stand

Sunrise could not find him in  heart's shadow

No sharper edges wrought to cleave those bindings;

locking the pain with loss and despair

another had won her love. 

disregard replete; he moves

one to another, another; and another 

now in bliss, remiss of those memories,

he weds while broken stems alter Sunrise

no longer kissing their lips

hands only brushed the pearl of their veils now

fingered shards, shred them to shrouds 

three to cover each.

03/10/2019

E.

*the first two verses were one of those "flash inspirations" one has the tendency to think they are genius, only to throw them out when read later ..i know you all know what i mean ... but i didn't throw them out because it "felt" right .. so i added the second two verses ... trying to say the same thing in a bit different way ... would love to know your thoughts on them

Author's Note

Reviews

[Christine Anne Shaw]

Dear Mr E. I found your poem moving. It also brought a memory back of an aunt by marriage I was very fond of. She really cared for me at a time my parents were 400miles away. I was young. She said to me to hang on to my man and look after him because there were other women round every corner waiting to prise him away. She wasn't wrong there, that's exactly what happened.

That loss is incredibly difficult to deal with, there was much pain and I sensed that in your lines you yourself understand that loss. Loving someone who doesn't feel the same way about you sucks. Sometimes you may meet someone else, but that broken trust shatters the heart and it takes one hell of a lot of glue to stick it back together.

Do not bin this piece. You have much to say here. This reader fekt your words on an emotional level.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

oh no Chris ... as i started to read your review i thought it would be a more happy story with your aunt (i had several nearby when parents were miles and miles away;) but i am so sorry for what happened to you ... no matter how long ago it never goes away .. i lost my wife to cancer when she was only 30 yrs old and working through that i often thought how much more difficult it is for those divorced and/or abandoned ... because they are still around .. and friends and family take sides .. so the emotional support given is not nearly sufficient .. many times makes things worse i think ;((( thank you so much for your very encouraging review ..i have been pretty insecure in posting and keeping it as is ... truly .. i very much appreciate your words, Chris ... God bless you and big hugs girl ... (if that's ok)
E.

[Christine Anne Shaw]

Hugs very gratefully received. I am so sorry for your loss. Your words have a universal appeal. Loss however it comes as a result of being abandoned or through death is life changing and difficult to deal with. Your poem reaches out to those who have suffered loss. Please post more if you are able to. Sending you all good wishes and a hug from me to you.

Chris

[barleygirl]

I agree your first two verses are genius, so I'm glad you didn't throw them out. It's becuz you are straightforward in a startling way . . . stating truthful observations we can all relate to. Then you go more into your nuanced way of embellishing, to flesh out your meaning as you go along, & I had to do a little more work to visualize everything you describe. Also, as one of the ones that LOVE has left behind, the nuances often get lost on me! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Einstein Noodle]

your reviews are always so important to me Margie ...simply because of our different approaches ... mine abstract and yours linear (as you have put it) your input helps me to try harder to keep a balnce of some sort so everyone can read and feel they have gotten something from what i write (like all poets i am sure) thanks so much for working that second part out .. and thank you very much for valuing the first part ... helps a lot to know!
E.

[Fran Marie]

The first two verses set the scene for just how painful love. can be..like a merry go round ..you love someone they love someone else..someone always ends up standing in the shadows of love waiting for a better outcome should they try again in this game of love..nice work E..

[Einstein Noodle]

i know.... it can seem so unfair right!? :( its such a struggle and can be so painful ... but does work out ... and we can be happy in the end if we try ... so glad to have your review Fran ..thanks for taking time!
E.

[Light]

it may takes years, even generations to meet and find Your true love, through that road You meet many experiences and though they might be unbearably painful sometimes,they are there for something or another, but the most painful thing when You are fully aware and with real belief of what's inside You, while Your love can't feel or know it, and You can't convey it to them either, it must come from their own inner, sometimes You wait for them for long times until they wake up...

[Einstein Noodle]

yes yes yes Light!!! exactly so! i wonder sometimes how we make it through ... love on ya my friend .. so glad for your remarks!
E.

[Stella Armour]

my generation were expected to marry young and have a family, that was the norm then, but now it makes sense that young love is passionate and burns out, better to wait and see than give everything to one person then find that someone else you had known was meant for you all along. Rejection, it hurts yes, but things happen for a reason sometimes ....

[Einstein Noodle]

i am happy this sparked your wisdom Stella ... so true .. in fact i thought of a very young lady who really did love me in high school ... i was so not ready for any of that ... but she went steady and married the next person she really loved and who loved her .. they had 4 children together and are still married today .. it made me think of how different young girls attitudes were back then ... that was their dream .. marry and have a family .. life is good! ;) like you say though, unfortunately too many confuse the fire as it burns with such heat and light ... no thought given to the fuel needed ;) so glad you stopped and reviewed my friend ... and for your sound wisdom
E.

[Stella Armour]

it comes with age lol .... and i am an old thing now :))

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha me too...and loving every minute!!!

[Richard 🍃]

Well, Gene,
In as much that you asked for shared thoughts on this piece, and speaking technically -- to my thinking, in poetry (in particular) it's seldom ever a good idea to be too verbose (as in the final two verses), when simplicity is more effective, most easily understood, and enjoyed by one's readership.
Of course, it's never a reason for happiness to realize the one loved has chosen another, expressed so succinctly in the first two well-struck poetic verses.
Just my take on this piece -- and, I'm expecting a healthy discourse … smile*

Thanks, My Friend, for the privilege of honest critique, and for asking it of us! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Einstein Noodle]

so grateful for your critique always Richard ... i responded to you e-mail so will not repeat in this space ... the second part is more complex and has more imagery .. i was hoping to convey the same thing and show a contrast between "inspired" stuff .. and "worked on" stuff ;) i hope my response to your e-mail helps a little ... i change the misspelled repleat to the correct replete ... love your review my friend ... love and joy
E.

[Richard 🍃]

I was expecting flying shards … LOL!

[Ardra]

That's one beautiful poem E.

Mmmm I read somewhere
Aren't we all ex of someone..
Heheh.... and yet to be lover of Some one else.. :p

Ah life never plays fair... guess if we knew all the end results then life wouldn't be intresting...
(Hugs)

[Einstein Noodle]

spoken as a true life's warrior, Ardra! i am so happy to see you around me pages ... hope all is well ... seems a while since we have chatted ;) thanks for taking time my friend! always appreciate and respect

[Delmar Cooper]

The first two are genius in the same sense that genuine is real and inspired is visceral. The rest needs a tablespoon of Thousand Island or Ranch Dressing.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks for taking time Delmar! even as a child i only use Italian ;)))))))))))))))))
E.

[KWP]

this is an interesting set-up for you. Great to see you have taken a new road. I very much like this.

I like the flash of inspiration snippet at the end and I can fully understand where you are coming from - it's moment like these where I feel we are truly 'tapping in' to the connectedness of all, of everything - it's moments like these I wish we could drag out like the last of the sun on a perfect spring day.

and yeah - love - ha - it's complicated !!!

[Einstein Noodle]

i know...it is a new road every now-when ;))) those "brilliant " snippets i throw out are as embarrassing as telling people how much i fed me family on ..... :} whenever the new "poverty level" is set i think "Good Lord in heaven ... how did we do it .." and then .... how embarrassing ;)))))))))))i am so happy you came and read this my friend ..your visits always a treat and i listen to you...i really do ;))))))))))
E.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“Fingered shards, shred them to shrouds”- So dark, so true E. No bin should ever hide this poem. The number three so prominent, mysterious- the bell tolls three times for the unrequited love lost perhaps. The first two rhymed and rhythmic verses dramatically, symbolically set the scene for the ominous vignette that follows, the ghost-brides discarded. Loss leading to the sepulcher. “Nevermore.” Poe-esque, Blake-esque, E.-brilliant! Love this immensely.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my....Annette... your review touches me .. i am so humbled ... thank you so much ... funny how things we think are one thing ..are not ;} i am very encouraged to explore and experiment ... i never intended to post this yet with only a bit of work ... decided to try it .. and then not as a unified whole ... thank you very much for reading and i could not feel more gratified by your review

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

You are most welcome E.!

[Cherrie Palmer]

You know what popped into my head.
Your first stanza could be an opening for short romantic story.
Then each stanza that follows could do the same.
It could be about one couple and the wake their love leaves behind or a 'Love American Style' story with each stanza highlighting a new couple.
This poem overflows with life and cries to be explored.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Cherrie! for taking time and your inspiring input!! i can see your points clearly ... lets all go exploring eh!? ;)))))))))))
E.