Never

Never

A Poem by SilentSKY
"

~

"
My mind wanders blankly
I am sensitive to touch
And I realized just then
That he never loved me.

I listen to sounds
Of the evenings first stars
Wondering whether or not
If it is going to rain.
I am feeling sad,
But happy too;
Conflicting feelings are never good
When it comes to blowing a tissue.

I wish and I hope
That my thoughts are quite clear
When I feel an angry bubble
Come bursting out of here.
I look up and say
To the dark night's dismay
"He never loved me, now kill me, you will!"

© 2010 SilentSKY


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No Sugar Coating
I think you should stick to a four line count....
My mind wonders blankly
I'm sensitive to touch
I realize just then
he never loved me

I listen to sounds
of evenings first star
wander whether or not
it is going to rain

I would finish with will you instead of you will.

this is a nice poem and I would love it if you cleaned it up a little.


Posted 10 Years Ago


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J.M
Sad and sweet, the idea is a one i know well and you portrayed it excellently. Good job!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I listen to sounds
Of the evenings first stars
Wondering whether or not
If it is going to rain.

Loved this bit :) sweet but a little tragic too! Nice poem, good work!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hey this is good keep going with it i like it

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 4, 2010
Last Updated on December 4, 2010

Author

SilentSKY
SilentSKY

CA



About
I love to write. It is a passion, and that is all I do. Write. I have been writing since I was very young, making up little stories and writing them out. I have been accepted to Author's Faires, and I.. more..

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