METAMORPHOSIS

METAMORPHOSIS

A Poem by daydreamer
"

This poem just sprung up my mind when i watched a small butterfly spread its wings and fly into the sky and my heart was sulking when i heard my best friends love was lost forever

"

Dancing moonlight soaking my dreams dry in every full moon night

Twinkling stars lighting up dark blue sky when the tired sun sulks

Cool breeze caressing my hair when gloom unwinds in the spring

Jubilant stream in the autumn when tears roll down my cheek

Morning dew drops hanging on greens of eyelashes in cold winter

Ask me?

 

Please sprinkle your everlasting showers to well up my emotional glacier.

Oh! Merciful love, help build me up phrase a reply to them?

You were nesting deep within the cocoon of my heart, soothing my soul!

Why did you spread up your tentacles to my mind making it a black hole?

 Leaving behind  within me these creepy larvae of untold agony!

 

What brought about this metamorphosis within you?

Was it that split moment?

 

When her dark blue gaze peeped deep into my nascent childhood?

Letting my dreams leap and fly into this virgin adulthood!

Only to be trapped and sucked into the throat of

This wily Seductress damsels called hunger,possesion and lust

Please tell me, oh! My love

What brought about this metamorphosis within you? 

© 2011 daydreamer


Author's Note

daydreamer
I feel i have just crept up one step up the big ladder of art of poetry writing. please you guys give me your honest opinion. thanks:)

My Review

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Featured Review

I'm a big lover of imagery and I fell head over heels for yours! XD Your poem is a mixture of the beauty of 18th century poetry and yet, also has the wonders of modern literature...the only thing I think you could do without is the repetition of "Ask me" in your first stanza. It breaks up the beautiful flow of the poem...
I am eagerly waiting for your next piece!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I must agree with Blue Eyes .. The repetitive "Ask me" is better left out .. Your expressions are understood .. I like your work ..

Jasmine ..

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


Spectacular imagery. I would break up the bottom a little, to allow the reader to focus. Each line has value, and you don't want to lose it in a cluster of words. Having said that, I think it's truly a beautiful poem! :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i wish i could express myself with this style of poetic writing. for lack of a better or more sophisticated word.....it is pretty.....and flowery and....romantic. isn't that what poetry is all about?

now....to be 100% honest - it was just a little too busy for me. so much imagery that my ADD brain got lost. this, however, is my flaw and should not really be a concerning factor in your writing. i am sure that the audience which will enjoy it immensely and follow it without skipping a beat is probably much larger than those who will not.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Its good

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm a big lover of imagery and I fell head over heels for yours! XD Your poem is a mixture of the beauty of 18th century poetry and yet, also has the wonders of modern literature...the only thing I think you could do without is the repetition of "Ask me" in your first stanza. It breaks up the beautiful flow of the poem...
I am eagerly waiting for your next piece!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Honest... Hummm. What I do best.:)
Absolute in passion.
Clear in ears.
Bouncing through my brain.
A wonderfully versed, expression complete.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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190 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on October 13, 2011
Last Updated on October 17, 2011
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Author

daydreamer
daydreamer

Mangalore, karnataka, India



About
Hi i am Rajesh . I am an Indian Male citizen, residing in small town called Mangalore in Karnataka state. Writing has been my dream i have been nurturing since my childhood. I have a long long way .. more..

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