Let me Live

To love is to live!

Let me live...
hearing every love song
you render for me.

Let me live...
in every emotion
I feel for you.

Let me live...
in tears of joy
by loving me eternally

Let me live...
By this love
I have for you.

Let me live...
around the clouds,
reaching dreams in life.

Let me live...
your hands in my hands
while kissing me passionately.

And let me live...
by your sweet smile
As I always smile at you.

Reviews

[Vanessa Whiteley]

As it stands this is a nice poem but I think it could be so much richer. While I like the repetition in this poem and the triplets and short lines work well, I think it would be even stronger if it was a little shorter. Perhaps five stanzas - less being more. For example

Let me live...
in every emotion
I feel for you.

And

Let me live...
By this love
I have for you.

Are very similar in what they express. Moreover, the concrete detail you give the poem in being able to hear every love song is nice. Perhaps if you were to play with the senses a little more the sight, sound, taste, touch, and scent, associated with the loved one. For example, your hand in mine would be nice if it was to focus on that sense of touch. Of course these are just my ideas to take or leave as you so choose.

[deeps]

This is so wonderful and beuatiful
well written

[J Royail]

I really liked this one, I could feel the passion! or I thought I could anyway...LOL!

Let me live...
your hands in my hands
while kissing me passionately.

[poddar kushal]

it is nice in a sort of way. i like it when i read it. but, i must confess it didnot make me thinking after i closed the window. but, i also like to read it once in a while. so from all aspect it is good...

[Chad Wesley Allbrett]

That's sweet and tender!

[Stephanie Weippert]

Sweet emotion, but sorta vanilla. It could use some impact, some "pop". Though thinking about it, this reminds me of Valentines card poems, and lots of people like those poems. Shrug, this could just by my preference.

[Nico]

I loved it.....came straight from the heart....and yes.....smile:)

[BelieveInCelia]

Lovely. Speaks from your heart.

Celia

[logmein]

I like this poem, but I do have some thoughts on the words chosen. I think that you could actually take out some of the words and have a stronger meaning to what you are writing. I love the ideas that you have for your poetry. Keep up the good work.

[Natasha Ashway]

Let me live for love. In different ways, in different degrees.
I say aye.
Thanks for sharing, Rachel.
It's been a pleasure.

[KJVollaro]

Excellent work Karen! I enjoy the repetition you use here. This poem is very emotive, in the way that weddings are. I can certainly imagine a readers eyes welling up with the "tears of joy" that you mention. Don't touch this one...it's perfect the way it is!