A Note from Oblivion

one of my older poems I found lying around. It was my best reviewed before everthing got erased.

 

My steps echo into the void

of a massive building

long since destroyed

 

I feel a presence in the sky

a creature of the dark

whispering “Time to Die”

 

The trials I face ahead

all alone

Lead most to the horrid dead

 

No, not me I persevere

where most fail

I will live or so I fear

 

Like an old lonely rose

in a forgotten bed

I have fallen into eternal doze

 

Don’t follow my tracks

young hearted reader

Never hold back.

Reviews

[Eiri]

I like it, I could guess as to what were the trials that you had to face when you wrote this, but the way you describe it here, awsome, an old massive building, meaning you seemed to have many problems one after another and yet you faced them even though your were pretty sure the end wasnt going to be a pretty one, the las part being suggested by the "creature of the dark" and "whispering "Time to die"....either that or I'm reading way too much into it, which I have a habit of doing sometimes O.o

[r]

this is a great poem..... exactly what i was looking for in my contest...... good luck in my contest and good job with this poem.....keep up the great work!!!! :-)

[ATG]

This is a good poem. It was very interesting to read.

The figurative language is brilliant.

[Ravenskald]

"Don't follow my tracks
young hearted reader
Never hold back."
Sums it up and nicely put, not action that leads to oblivion sometimes it's inaction.
A lot of this is familiar (uncomfortably so ), but I suppose we are both still writing, so not quite .. off to the eternal doze

~raven (yep this name is pretty new too !-well at least to me it is )

[Dani California]

This is a great poem..

It wreaks of regret and failure,
or maybe that's my own interpretation.
"don't hold back"... don't let fear prevent
you from ... living.

I love the last stanza... the message it
sends forth.

Nice work! :)

[Angellesa]

I enjoyed the poem. I think following you would be okay.
Thank you for the review.

Lesa

[Beautifully_Anarchist]

this is gorgeous i really like it especially the first two stanzas

[~angelalala~]

this is darkly beautiful and enchanting. flows smoothly. i loved it. well done.