I like the way that the words flowed in this one and I like the story behind it as well. I like the final lines set up, the whole poem has the feel of a classic love letter and I think it works well for this.
Only suggestion would be some grammar, like a period here and there, a couple of coma's for clarity. I've taken the liberty to add them in as best I could, I hope you don't mind, and hopefully it works for you:
"A house at the end of the road
With my name on a pillar box in the front.
The letters, all the letters from you,
Taken from me to you in the litter pillar box.
Fresh ink spilled on my vanity and a quill-by the parchment
Stamped and sealed with a kiss.
With the scent of perfume and oils from my hands,
A last farewell of our far fantasy,
All our memories and life together, traveling
Through the little pillar box,
Out front a house at the end of the road that will never keep us."
thanks for the read.
Posted 12 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5
This took me back in time, and I loved the feel. Especially the "Stamped with a kiss, with the scent of perfume and oils from my hand" I love little details like that.
I like the way that the words flowed in this one and I like the story behind it as well. I like the final lines set up, the whole poem has the feel of a classic love letter and I think it works well for this.
Only suggestion would be some grammar, like a period here and there, a couple of coma's for clarity. I've taken the liberty to add them in as best I could, I hope you don't mind, and hopefully it works for you:
"A house at the end of the road
With my name on a pillar box in the front.
The letters, all the letters from you,
Taken from me to you in the litter pillar box.
Fresh ink spilled on my vanity and a quill-by the parchment
Stamped and sealed with a kiss.
With the scent of perfume and oils from my hands,
A last farewell of our far fantasy,
All our memories and life together, traveling
Through the little pillar box,
Out front a house at the end of the road that will never keep us."