Our Loss, Her Freedom

Our Loss, Her Freedom

A Poem by redalia
"

from their perspective

"

This isn’t just for show. 


We made tea and time for one another. 

We might’ve grown up but not without each other.

We promised we wouldn’t leave anyone behind 

cause all of our friends are a part of the clock.


You already know this.


Sweet,

for what do you want to leave this fireplace?

Have you made other friends?

Have we not been enough for you?

Is that why you’ve gone and bought these rats?


Oh, it’s George! It’s got to be Georgie,

is it not him? It has to be because of Georgie.


Brother Georgie! 

Friend! How come you’re not one of us?

You ought to join us!

Georgie, brother, why won’t you pick our side,

why won’t you help us out?

Now you two want to go and leave us behind?

Why won’t you help her tear down those blinds?

Won’t you have some of this tea? 


Is the reason why you want to take her from us

that you need her?

How could you possibly need her more than we do?

You know how much we need her, brother, you do.

That’s why we still make tea and time for one another,

that’s why we’re still together. 


Look at all the good wood we’ve been burning.

You haven’t been around like we have.

Taste this good tea we’ve been having.

Please do, Georgie.


Good, good, here you go.

We feast.

Just keep playing that song you’ve been writing,

a marvelous gift.

See how you fit in?

You ought to join us!

Would we like to go swimming? Oh, no, brother,

we like to stay at the fireplace, you see.

We like the fireplace.


Right, of course there are better places--

There’s a meadow close by? And wildflowers?

No way! What else? Yes, 

the beach must be surreal! You’ll take us?

What about--

oh, the river 

sounds wonderful, we could go iceskating!

We’d love to--


(Tick

tock.)


Oh. 


(Tick

tock.)


You do it so easily.


You charmer! 

You tease!


You’ve got us all on your fingertips.


Sweet, no, don’t follow!

He doesn’t need you!

He’s only a long breath in a pungi!


You wouldn’t dare, Georgie.

You would

not

dare.


(Tick 

tock--)


Brother!

Brother!


You left us alone 

once.

Now,

you leave us to rot.

© 2018 redalia


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Featured Review

So I am aware might be reading this completely differently to your intended story, but:

"This isn’t just for show" - this feels like an affirmation. The narrator wants us to know this, but it feels like they are trying to convince themselves. It's important for us to understand the ceremonies we rely on in life to create the semblance of a relationship... ceremonies which are borne more of tradition and expectation than on meaningful interaction.

The tea: this is the metaphoric thread for ceremonies we create. In lots of cultures. It seems especially relevant to the false niceties we rely on with family....? Then when that family member passes or moves on we continue to see things through our own experience, not sure if we ever really knew that person but unable to really admit this truth.

Passage of time, too, that certainty, that ever present construct - it seems to represent nostalgia? Which can always conjure somewhat inaccurate memory of fact.

Guilt - again, something prevalent in family relationships, or those with childhood friends. Guilty expectations we put on one another, being easily let down, not really communicating what we mean. Leaves room for surrealism and nuance, which can also be misinterpreted....

If i've totally misread this I apologise: either way, I really enjoyed it - as always. I do love how you play with rhythm; it reflects an inner conflict...? It takes more than one reading which is absolutely your style. You write in inference which makes it a lot of fun to interpret.

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

redalia

6 Years Ago

i have to say i truly enjoy reading your thoughts and reviews.
thank you for taking the time.. read more



Reviews

So I am aware might be reading this completely differently to your intended story, but:

"This isn’t just for show" - this feels like an affirmation. The narrator wants us to know this, but it feels like they are trying to convince themselves. It's important for us to understand the ceremonies we rely on in life to create the semblance of a relationship... ceremonies which are borne more of tradition and expectation than on meaningful interaction.

The tea: this is the metaphoric thread for ceremonies we create. In lots of cultures. It seems especially relevant to the false niceties we rely on with family....? Then when that family member passes or moves on we continue to see things through our own experience, not sure if we ever really knew that person but unable to really admit this truth.

Passage of time, too, that certainty, that ever present construct - it seems to represent nostalgia? Which can always conjure somewhat inaccurate memory of fact.

Guilt - again, something prevalent in family relationships, or those with childhood friends. Guilty expectations we put on one another, being easily let down, not really communicating what we mean. Leaves room for surrealism and nuance, which can also be misinterpreted....

If i've totally misread this I apologise: either way, I really enjoyed it - as always. I do love how you play with rhythm; it reflects an inner conflict...? It takes more than one reading which is absolutely your style. You write in inference which makes it a lot of fun to interpret.

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

redalia

6 Years Ago

i have to say i truly enjoy reading your thoughts and reviews.
thank you for taking the time.. read more

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Added on February 13, 2018
Last Updated on February 13, 2018
Tags: inner struggle, depression

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redalia
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