Happyness

Happyness

A Poem by Rosezelene Ersa
"

an extremely short Tanka; definitely one of my favorite's.

"


Feather light and free


Freezing, breezing, lifting me


Brushing pristine sky


 


          Zenith high is breached, broken


Coming, tumbling, falling down


© 2014 Rosezelene Ersa


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Hurrah for Tankas! I've done one Tanka; it was about roses. I like that when you have a bit too much for a haiku, but you want to an eloquent and brief piece, you can do a Tanka.

I am biased towards this piece because I love falling leaves. Technically this is about a feather, but the whole thing could be applied to a falling leaf, so I am biased in its favor.

It is interesting that you somewhat shaped this poem by indenting the fourth line. Was this intentional? I've never seen a fusion of shape poetry and haiku/tanka. If you are going for shape poetry I recommend adding more contour. If the indent was an accident, then nevermind.

And why "Happyness" is the misspelling intentional? I agree a floating feather would be happy, but perhaps a title like "flight" or "free" or "falling" or something along those lines would be more relevant.


Posted 5 Years Ago



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177 Views
1 Review
Added on January 19, 2014
Last Updated on January 19, 2014
Tags: happyness, life, free, freedom, tanka, words

Author

Rosezelene Ersa
Rosezelene Ersa

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My main focus on this site is poetry,any tips or suggestions would be highly appreciated. -R.E more..

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