A Poem by Red Rose

Capturing the simplicity of a rainy day.

I hear the rain.
And it's tapping sound.
How comforting.
Lets lounge around.
I feel the rain.
In a cozy spot.
Like background music.
Brings lovely thoughts.

© 2010 Red Rose

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The rain is my comfort too! It is a good day when it rains for me. Enjoyed this!

Posted 6 Years Ago

i actually really like the 'form' of this, and i understood it completely. Nice work.

Posted 11 Years Ago

Dear Writer,

A very well illustrated poem that paints very vividly a constant picture. The "Drip" is highly appropriate, but use line breaks to divide up your body of text. "And" is not an appropriate way to start up a sentence in the fourth line. Remove the word -and- or lowercase it and remove the period on the second line. A matter of opinion on the sixth line, but How sounds more appropriate as "It's." I would italicize the word drip every time you use it to create a better emphasis.

Rainy days are very simplistic and you've definitively conveyed it's passion in your poem here. This poem flows good and has good depth, to be blunt.
The repetition of Drip makes the poem more enjoyable, but try using rhyme in your works as well. Rhyme and Repetition are like food seasoning; they're not necessary, but they "season" the poem. You did quite a good job here and I encourage you to always keep writing if it's your sincere passion. May you always grow and be well blessed. 9.4/10.

A Friend and a Writer,
S. W. Scaggs

Posted 11 Years Ago

I love 'Drip' bits, they helped me to visualise someone watching rain through a window...

This poem has a very nice, cosy feel. Made me smile, because I love rain :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

I appreciate your idea in utilizing the word "Drip" in every other line, but I felt that the "in between" lines weren't very strong. Read those lines together, without the drip, and see how the flow. That should create a better fluidity to the poem.

Now, far be it from me to ever be against the use of proper punctuation, but...I do believe this poem suits well with the style which has no commas, periods, etc. You might want to try it.

Other than that, just a few grammatical issues:
*its tapping sound
*Let's lounge around.


Posted 11 Years Ago

this peom...it has like this unexplainable intensity to it.... its saddnening yet soothing at the same time. love it!

Posted 11 Years Ago

This is really good. I love the simple rhythm of this piece.
It brings to mind the soothing sound of a spring shower on a tin roof.
Great write, keep it up!


Posted 11 Years Ago

very simple.
The drip between each line kinda ....confuses me?

But its good.

Keep it up.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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8 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 9, 2010
Last Updated on March 9, 2010


Red Rose
Red Rose

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