A Present for the Present

Not everything needs to be figured out. Some things can simply be. And we can learn to simply enjoy them.

A night full of laughter

Warm colors and sweet drinks

Green eyes with soft wrinkles

And a wide, sparkling gaze

You light up so handsomely

When you talk about her

Two people out for the night

Not worrying about labels

The possibilities are endless

When you find yourself with me

We can have our own adventure

Enjoying present company

So let’s take a moment

And bury what's around us

Not think about work

Or dwell on our phones

Enjoy the raw moments

Of pure, human connection

Reviews

[emipoemi]

In terms of wisdom and advice: this conveys a well thought-out and coherent message that we all should take to heart. Poetically, the musicality is missing something in order to properly fall into the brilliant cadence that would be that last couple of lines – I want so say the addition of an "and" or "simply" at the beginning to the last stanza might do the trick, for right now, it has an anticlimactic ending, which undermines everything you've poured out into this poem. With that extra word, it would have a smoother flow, and land the ending much better. Well done overall, though. Very profound and wisely put!!

[Stephanie]

I think one of my faults is knowing something feels off and posting it anyway because I don't think I'll ever figure it out. So I'm grateful for reviews like yours that point it out and suggest a way to fix it. Thank you :)

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.

My advice to you is don't think: feel. The poem knows what it's doing, and it's merely flowing through you. Feel it's flow, and it will tell you what to do (what's missing, and whether something is too much). Don't think: feel.

[Chris]

The "asking" was heart felt... I do hope the answer was as well.