A Girl I Know

that feeling of being suffocated by someone's presence.

It's almost like I need somebody to antagonize.
She's a girl I know
too nice for her own good,
embodies sweetness and bunny rabbits and sugar
and spice and everything
about her reeks of kindness and 
frolicking through the meadow
instead she awkwardly dances around
my group of friends, trying to fit in,
awkwardly asks questions
like how my day's have been.
All I can say is "good;"

my day was good until I locked eyes on her.
Like an animal,
she tracked my scent all around the room,
but it's rude to say she's like an animal.

She's a missile, and I am the reluctant target.
She follows me when I don't want her to
but I can't explain why I feel this way.
In my head it all makes sense.
I feel like she wants to torture me;
she wants to force her way into my heart
which is already full of thoughts
of the friends I chose for myself.

She is not my friend,
yet wants to be,
why, because I have a friendly face?

We never speak really
and when we do I tell her lies,
anything to keep her off my back,
anything to make her stop.

I hate it when she looks at me,
talks to me,
touches me.

I wish she didn't get the inclination to hug me.
I don't even like giving hugs
or touching for that matter.
I like to keep my hands to myself,
down near the side of my thighs.
I wish she would see that.

I wish she would get the hints I'm dropping
like vomit.
That when she's thinking of me,
I'm not thinking of her.
I wish she would just leave me alone.

She doesn't know me
or understand where I'm coming from,
but pretends to.
I don't have the time or
care to tell her my story.
She doesn't deserve to hear it
because I say so.

I don't want her to pity me
nor do I want her to take my story to the grave
but never to listen to the words I said-
beyond the surface, into the deep innards of a gold mine.

I wish she would go away,
slinking off in defeat like a parasite
failing to attach to its host.
I wish she got the hints I've been dropping
like bombs on a sandy beach.

Honestly, I feel like a terrible person
for even writing this.
Maybe that's why...
maybe that's why we shouldn't be friends,
because if she really knew me
she'd know she's too goody two shoes 
to be a friend of mine- a fake, a fraud, a bad to the bone.