beyond knowledge

beyond knowledge

A Poem by rhall

Words and numbers
Absorbed over long nights
Book upon book of
Symbols crammed inside
Folds of grey
Like looking out
A mirrored window
for answers
But only seeing yourself

© 2016 rhall


Author's Note

rhall
I'm planning to submit this to my school magazine so I'd really appreciate it if y'all could get your red pens out and critique this real hard.

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Reviews

So delicate! I love few words that have a strong impact.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Wonderful poem. I am going to make one suggestion, though and I will give you the reason why. Add some punctuation. At least after the last 6 lines. Punctuation isn't always necessary in poems, but in this one I think it is. Here is why, when I first read this, and admittedly it is early morning here, and I have a cold and am not at the top of my game, I was confused about the meaning in the poem because I was reading the last 3 lines differently. I thought with the beginning of the poem you were saying that books don't prepare you for life, but read the last three lines together, which seemed to contradict it. It took me 4 times reading it to get that the last 6 lines are really all part of the same thought. Punctuation would help the reader's mind go in the path you want it to. Well done.

Posted 5 Years Ago


I think this is a lovely poem. Your choice of words amazes me and your concept is great, but I'd like to suggest that you divide the lines by how they would sound. I consider a line's end as a comma, so when I read it I was like "No more helpful in, understanding than mirrors, are for seeing." The "Understanding..." and then Are for..." is great, but the "No more... IN" and then "Understanding..." doesn't sound right. Overall, this is a lovely poem that showcases your talent and vocabulary. You should submit it to your school magazine because, duh, you made it and it's awesome. In closing, you are the one who should decide if you're going to submit it or not. You are the author, and you know about this poem more than a random internet person with two anime characters as her profile pic. Keep writing!

Posted 5 Years Ago



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219 Views
3 Reviews
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Added on February 24, 2016
Last Updated on February 26, 2016
Tags: School, studying, knowledge, review, edit, rewrite

Author

rhall
rhall

centreville, VA



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