The Girl

The Girl

A Poem by Rhea752

The girl is of water 
The girl is of tears 
The girl hates her life 
The girl has her fears 


The mother don't like her 
The mother don't care 
The mother is fire
The girl she can't bear 


The father is tired 
The father is drunk 
The father don't know 
The girl ain't a punk 


The sister just left her 
The sister is gone 
The sister don't call 
The girl wrote a song 


The girl runs away 
The girl is in pain 
The girl finds the ocean 
The girl sat and sang 


The ocean is water 
The ocean is tears 
The ocean accepts her 
The girl lost her fears

© 2012 Rhea752


Author's Note

Rhea752
I know I say don't when it should be doesn't don't leave any negative comments on that please it's poetry in a little girls eyes.

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Reviews

This was beautifully written. Truly, it's a great piece.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhea752

8 Years Ago

Thanks :)
Within a few words you have showed a very painful life and showed part of what such a life can do to someone inside. This is very well written.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhea752

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much
I'm sort of a grammar Nazi, but I actually really appreciate the use of don't rather than doesn't in this poem. Beautiful.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhea752

9 Years Ago

I'm the Junior Grammar Nazi. My sister is the real Grammar Nazi. She even has a shirt that says Gram.. read more
Dil Coeur

9 Years Ago

That is amazing! I need one, too
Rhea752

9 Years Ago

I don't know where you could get one. She got one from a National Latin competition.
its really beautiful!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Honestly i did not notice the don't being a problem, till pointed out. Beautiful.

The girl runs away
The girl is in pain
The girl finds the ocean
The girl sat and sang

By far my favorite part.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I think the don't instead of doesn't accenting the sorrow and anguish in this piece. There is nothing that needs editing; it's simply exquisite!
~The Wilted Rose

Posted 9 Years Ago


Don't write for others, write for yourself! It's much more satisfying and fulfilling. This is amazing! Really really good, clean, beautiful work!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


wow such a sad write, so well exprssed.

Posted 9 Years Ago


It has a flow and rhythm to it . Sad good write.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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22 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on June 11, 2012
Last Updated on June 11, 2012

Author

Rhea752
Rhea752

Middle Of My Daydreams, FL



About
I am a 15 year old girl who loves to read, write, act, and draw. I just started writing seriously about 2 years ago. I've been published a few times in small online magazines. I am trying to find out .. more..

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