Spring After the Thaw

I forgive you your wicked ways
although it'll not bring me slumber
my own well being is at stake

no time to waste on your reflection

I will not wallow in your betrayal
there are many sunrises to behold
dragons to be slayed aside from you,
not to mention the spring after the thaw

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

The spring after the thaw is so much more poetic than so many other euphemisms. I am enamored of that snippet- the dragons will still need to be slayed for they are always breathing down our necks, but that thaw- that is pure magic. It's a beautiful poem.

[rhythm&blues]

Thanks so much icelandicblue, means a lot coming from someone as talented as you.

[Beccy]

The allusion is subtle, but striking. Like Icelandicblue, I love 'spring after the thaw.' It's quite perfect to your poem.

So glad you found poetry, it can bring great peace of mind.

Beccy.

[Afraa]

What I love so much about this piece, is the title. You came up with a very good one! I also appreciate the simplicity and raging emotion behind the words. After reading your 'About Me', I'm not surprised you wrote this. Thank you for sharing!

[A.A.]

Hey, I really like this. Reminds me alot of the Danish poet Benny Andersen. He takes such divergent things and sets them together so that each line meets you like something fresh, almost like the start of a whole new poem. It's wonderful here how the last line expands your poem so dramatically.

If I were to come with a piece of criticism.. maybe you could re-consider one of the three words 'slumber', 'betrayal' or 'slayed'; they're fine in and of themselves, but together, I feel like they create a bit of a medieval feel, which maybe doesn't serve the poem best. Could be that that's what you were aiming for, but for me the strength of this one's in its freshness and diversity, and it could be worth trimming a bit to let that come forward more clearly.

Anyway, that's just my two cents. Thank you for a fresh and surprising read.

Tony.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

this was amazing........
beautifully written!
short compact and effective!
i loved it!!!
:)

[T]

And we can only hope that the spring comes after the harsh winter of betrayal. How long we stay in the winter months is up to us. I love the decision to not wallow in the pain despite the fact that it is felt. Well written.

[Awakened Rose]

"Not to mention the spring after the thaw" lovely piece... I love the different word usages. Thank you for sharing!

[WILDERNESS]

splendid................. so full of purpose and response...........v nice

[Relic]

The last line is what really puts it all together in a nice bow so to speak. Being able to move on with a positive as well as confident attitude takes strength and foresight.

Well done.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Simple, powerful and deep with feeling, well done, great read!

[Rita L. Sev]

It is wise to turn to other dragons to be slayed, and to look toward spring with hope... A strong write, R&B!