Come Back to Me

a heavily revised re-post, heavily irregular rhyme scheme...enjoy

The gap had widened gradually,

the light was gone from sea-green eyes;

The nights out with ‘friends’

again and again,

lasting till the hint of the coming sunrise.

A question was answered, evasive and vague,

a whiff of cologne, “Oh a guy bumped into me.”

First one night, then two

that you didn’t come home…

I knew right then that it was now only me.

 

Before the new week, while I was at work

you came and you picked up all of your clothes;

Your keys on the counter top,

your laptop was gone;

I gazed out the window, the moon just a sliver…

I pictured my life sinking into a river

of white water…to drown, I suppose.

 

I took one more job to keep up with the rent,

my car stereo became my friend and my curse.

Every song that was played brought my mind back to you…

Each day I would grumble, “For better or worse…?”

My thirst for you, here every night, in my chair

my folder of poems on my lap,

the gap that had started this chasm back then

had grown into solitude, a pine with no sap.

I saw you the other day, hailing a cab

and looking so happy, so very content.

I went to our restaurant…and ate with my dreams,

remembering the times that we went.

A thought that had crossed through my mind

like the wind

a dare to myself to reclaim self-esteem;

And I wished to myself, “Please let healing begin,”

and let all emotion roll back and unwind.

 

So a year from that day that my world came undone…

I prayed, “Come back to me,” one final thread

that I sewed on to a shirt I then threw away

and looked at the hopeful bright sunrise instead.

 

dan © 2016

 

Music: “Watching the Wheels,” by John Lennon

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Hope is the last emotion we will know.
"And I wished to myself, “Please let healing begin,”
and let all emotion roll back and unwind."
Love make us wish for things we do not need. Thank you Dan for sharing your excellent poetry and tale.
Coyote

[dan]

Thank you John for sticking with me; I don't get a whole lot of reviews anymore. My fault...I have a way of alienating people. It's just the way I am.
Thank you for your intuitive review. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

Don't change my friend. Better to like the person we are. I always enjoy your work my friend and you are welcome..

[dan]

Thanks for the encouragement John; my disorders sort of lower my opinion of myself. Few reviews just drum the point home. But why am I complaining to you? I've reviewed about 45 pieces in the last three days and none of them were yours. I'm heading to your page to remedy that. Thanks again. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't send read requests. People complain. I love to read. I need the words of others to make me want to create.

[dan]

Well, I'll keep doing what I do now. When I see one of your writes on the News Feed page I come over and review them. Thank you John. take caer...dan

[.]

Sheesh! Beautifully written. Very hard to read.....
Irregular rhyme pattern, yes, but still very nicely done.
This poem just hits you right in the chest. Very personal. Very painful. Something that everyone can relate to. It is in real moments such as are deftly described here, that i believe we feel our greatest depth of emotional pain, even above and beyond death for me. It is very difficult to overcome such a loss with one's self esteem and dignity intact. And the pain always lingers.....like a tendril of song on the wind, always returning sometimes to stab us in the heart just a little more.
I am very impressed with this one, Dan. An incredibly brave piece of work. Take care.

[dan]

Wow, I don't know if I could have summed this piece up any better myself. I wanted to illustrate the pain, the self-doubt that arrives after absorbing such a tough emotional blow. And maybe a little light at the end of the tunnel?
Your reviews have been spot on today, Doodley; I thank you for the generosity of these interpretations. take care...dan

[Dani The Unreviewed]

When that special someone ditches us... It's heartbreak on the maximum. Nice write.

[dan]

This piece has a very irregular rhyme pattern to it. I also have a lot more like this. Thank you for the review. take care...dan

[Dani The Unreviewed]

My pleasure. (by the way. I don't consider rhyme patterns important. when a piece is good, and not emotionless, then it's good. :))

[JayceeC]

"ate with my dreams" such a wonderful phrase for reading alone in the place you used Rio share. A deeply emotive piece Dan that I'm sure anyone with a failed relationship can relate to. It's really not so different whether the reader is male or female..just switch cologne to perfume, and you have it.

[dan]

Wow, thank you Jan for reviewing so many of my writes in a row! Now two of my favorite WC friends have weighed in with feedback, I feel lucky today. I actually posted this about 10 months ago but the rhyme pattern was standard, I always thought "too cutesy" for the subject matter. I've been tinkering with it since and was finally satisfied with the result. As always thank you for your input. take care...dan

[JayceeC]

Glad to know I'm one of your favorites since you're one of mine too. I'll have hoo send you some requests although it may be sexier to link on my page as I did yours to get caught up, hence the several in a row. I never know eBay I'm going to find, but I know it will be good poetry. I send some requests though.

[dan]

I actually used to subscribe to a lot of my friends' writing but found that I didn't have as much time as I needed to keep up that way, I'm just not online that much. So I had to cancel the subscriptions. If you don't wish to send RRs then I will just have to visit your page more often, when I can. Thank you Jan. take care....dan

[JayceeC]

I'll try to remember to send, but they don't always work week from my phone.

[dan]

Just take it easy, you have enough on your plate right now. I'll try to keep checking in on your page. Dee and I are praying for you and Otto. take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"one final thread i sewed onto a shirt i then threw away"

everything in this poem reminds me of two of my exes....especially my first...the lies, the signs...the final tally which added up to the goodbye note on the kitchen table...and me with my old songs that play often enough just to let me not forget....

so well done...and a bit painful for me to read...which makes it especially effective, Dan...

j.

[dan]

This is actually fiction; my first wife and I split but it went way deeper than this relatively smooth separation. I'm sorry yours ended the way it did but I'm kind of glad that it stirred something up for you. Thanks so much for the sensitive review. take care...dan