The Past

The Past

A Poem by Riley
"

This poem is apart of me. I put all my heart into my poems and by sharing this you become apart of me.

"
The Past

The past it haunts me
It's like my heart without a key
It wont go away
Don't worry "I'll be ok"
All it does is cause pain
Man, I just want to let my tears rain
But you have to stay strong
So, no one knows nothings wrong
Cause if they find out
They'll try to send you away without a doubt
Don't be scared
At least there you'll feel cared
So don't let them know
Cause you don't need to go
         By:Riley Ellis

© 2019 Riley


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for writers the past is a treasure trove of pain and joy, victory and defeat, good and bad ;) all the things of life .. its when one so outweighs the other that serious struggle ensues ... feels overwhelming and without resolution ... the poem begins in 1st person .. My, I , I'll etc. then switches to 3rd person .. they, you, etc. .. doing that weakens your theme and confuses the reader .. try to keep you "voice" consistent and the poem will flow more easily .. you say this is personal and as we read we become a part of you :) i love that, Riley,... and i believe its true in all forms of poetry and creative writing .. this is a confessional poem .. always a risky thing to do ;) but for me .. it endears the speaker to me ... especially having read your about me ... i sure hope you continue to write and share these parts of yourself ... right here at the Cafe' ... i am mostly self taught and encourage you to read all you can .. every style and form of writing ... the more you read and do your best to review .. the more you will learn and improve ... peace and joy!
E.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

for writers the past is a treasure trove of pain and joy, victory and defeat, good and bad ;) all the things of life .. its when one so outweighs the other that serious struggle ensues ... feels overwhelming and without resolution ... the poem begins in 1st person .. My, I , I'll etc. then switches to 3rd person .. they, you, etc. .. doing that weakens your theme and confuses the reader .. try to keep you "voice" consistent and the poem will flow more easily .. you say this is personal and as we read we become a part of you :) i love that, Riley,... and i believe its true in all forms of poetry and creative writing .. this is a confessional poem .. always a risky thing to do ;) but for me .. it endears the speaker to me ... especially having read your about me ... i sure hope you continue to write and share these parts of yourself ... right here at the Cafe' ... i am mostly self taught and encourage you to read all you can .. every style and form of writing ... the more you read and do your best to review .. the more you will learn and improve ... peace and joy!
E.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sounds like PTSD. Going through traumas can cause a person to relive the past repeatedly. With treatment, though, it can be overcome. Good luck.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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37 Views
2 Reviews
Added on November 5, 2019
Last Updated on November 5, 2019

Author

Riley
Riley

NY



About
Hi, i"m Riley. I am 14 year old girl. I haven't had the greatest life. i went through some tough times that resulted in being at the doctors every week to make sure i'm alright and stuff like that. I .. more..

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