The Rational Wish

..+ve salutation dubbed in from traces of pessimism …

All alone in the dark I'll rise I'll shine

from the ruins of my past I'll show my present what I've really destined

in the altar of my conscience

I confess each sin of mine

to the depth that no human being can even introspect in his complete life time

not even my attire

nor even my metaphorical satires

preached me how to express my divine interventions

or my unorthodox interpretations

but born with perseverance and burnt along sheered will

I hummed my blank tunes in treacherous times

in my path so lone and bleak

I left the usual streak of following those repeated trails and lines

 

instead I flew sometimes high in clear skies

sometimes in dark dense forest nights

and in some occasion I dive in my usual ocean of thought shine

 

I gazed the azure for it gave me the taste of freedom

I lured myself through packed cob webs as they taught me how to disentangle and run with endeavor hues

I dived deep in that ponder pool as I thought I would grab a new insight full of innovations and come Donned with rational tools .....

For mine practical approach in life I'll dare every irrational aspect of human mind

pardon me if I try even you too in that course in any part of my life

forgive me for my ceaseless flow of this lingual rhyme as I dont believe in any of your grammatical pauses or sighs .....

 

all alone in the dark ill rise ill shine.....

Reviews

[David Scott]

I felt the hope here.
An honest expression.
I found the text rambling a little to my eye.
Condense it and box the concept more so the eye can see the profound intent you have spread out so thin.
Try to write this again with cutting out or slimming down a thought.
For instance, "I lured myself though packed cobwebs as they taught me how to disentangle and run with endeavor hues". This is a great thought, but it rambles.
Try something like, "Lured through tangled webs, I learned to disentangle, running now endeavored hues."
Great concept and I love the philosophy.

[Rishabh Shaw]

'wow'. that was more lucid and it makes it more prominent in recite. and yes now i too feel the text is rambling by,this art of compaction is new to me but i'll try to learn this style earliest in limelight. :)

[Ency Bearis]

Profound verses of introspective thoughts with good logic well narrated and poetized.

[Rishabh Shaw]

thank you Ency, it was pleasure getting your review. :)

[Ency Bearis]

my pleasure

[Sami Khalil]

"in the altar of my conscience

I confess each sin of mine

to the depth that no human being can even introspect in his complete life time"
A very nice poem and I like those lines the most...:)

[Rishabh Shaw]

'conscience is my god and it shall guide me...' was the thought when i wrote it. :)

[Sami Khalil]

Good to know. Have a great one...:)

[Rishabh Shaw]

thanx for stopping by... and yeah for your review..:)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...:)