Lent: First Sunday

One of the most frustrating things I experienced as a child, as a teen, as a young adult, and even in seminary, was that the Church kept telling me things like “Be good,” or “Have faith,” or “Love,” but the Church never told me how. The implication seemed to be that I should just know how to do these things, but if I knew how, then the Church wouldn’t have to be telling me to do them, because I’d be doing them. The Church told me to “Be good.” That was fine with me. I wanted to be good, I just didn’t know how, and everybody in the Church was acting like it was a tightly guarded secret. The same is true for faith and love and pretty much everything else the Church, the members, and often even the Bible instructed. (I’ve since learned that the reason why nobody in my Church ever told me how to be good, or have faith, or to love was because none of them seemed to know either.
 
I said all that so I could say this: The FIRST STEP toward humility is to REMEMBER THAT I’M NOT GOD�"or, there’s only one God and you ain’t it. This is how I understand St. Benedict’s instruction to always keep the fear of the Lord in front of our eyes. But then the same old question comes to mind: How? How do I always keep this idea before my eyes?

I offered some suggestions yesterday, but to be fair, they can only work if I’m already thinking about it in the first place. I am doing these things�"saying the Serenity Prayer, and reminding myself that I’m not in charge and if I’m trying to control something, then it’s already out of my control�"because I know I’m not God. But, for me, I often only remember that I’m not God after having already play God and failing miserably. So my taking of this first step only often comes as a last resort�"I remember that I’m not God because I forgot that I’m not God and am now exhausted, frustrated, and insane from having played God.

So, any experience I have with this step in humility is reactionary, or after the fact. The question is: Is there a preventative action I can take so I don’t get into this position in the first place? Is there a way to remind myself I’m not God from the very start, or am I doomed to be beaten up by circumstances before I can remember this simple fact? St. Benedict offers a few tips, but it will be my task to figure out how to apply them.

The first tip he gives is to remember all that God has instructed through the commandments. This advice is biblical. The Bible in many places (cf. Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:2; Sirach 32:15) instructs the reader to meditate on the law. But the instruction isn’t to occasionally glance at the Bible, or to randomly, or periodically study the law. The instruction is to study the law “day and night”�"that is, keep studying it every day. The book of Joshua says that if I did this, then I will succeed; the psalms say if I do that, I am, and will remain, blessed; and Sirach says that studying the law will allow me to master it, so that I know what to do at all times, which to me means:

“TAKE TIME EACH DAY TO STUDY THE BIBLE OR AT LEAST THE COMMANDMENTS, AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO LET YOURSELF GET BEAT UP BY PLAYING GOD BECAUSE YOU’LL REMEMBER FROM THE START THAT YOU AREN’T GOD.”

St. Benedict also suggests that I focus on limiting my desires and keeping them in check. As I look back upon my life, I can see that every time I failed, it’s because I sacrificed what I want for what I want for the moment. My desires take charge and I lose sight of what I’m working for. If I’m working for humility, then I cannot let my desires to take over, but I have to keep them in check. And the best way for me to keep them in check is to keep myself out of situations where they often run free. If I don’t want a haircut, I shouldn’t hang around the barbershop; if I don’t want my desires to run wild, then I have to keep myself from situations where they run wild.

So, today I can add to the things I’ve already started doing in the previous days the following things:

1) Set aside time each day to read the Bible. Even if I can only find five minutes, it’s five minutes more each day; thirty-five minutes more each week one-hundred-forty more minutes each month. I can look at the places in the Bible that offer commandments, choosing one, or part of one, or a single commandment each day. Good places to start are the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 13, and the Sermon on the Mount (Mt. 5-7). I don't have to read an entire book, or even a chapter! I can just decide to set aside fifteen minutes, a half-hour, an hour, a verse, a passage, whatever. The more I read, the more I am likely to remember to stop playing God, but anything is better than nothing; a little Bible is better than no Bible.

2) I can begin each day by simply praying: “God, let your will be done in me and through me.” I can repeat this prayer throughout the day. I can say it whenever you find yourself alone and not doing anything in particular like while driving, or walking, or taking a shower, or surfing the web (especially while surfing the web!)

3) I can keep track today when my desires seem to want to take charge. I can ask myself what is going on that is triggering them. I can write them down in a notebook or a list as I discover them. I can also make note of each time they assert themselves. That way I can see if they are asserting themselves more or less as time passes. I can ask “Why are they asserting more?” or “Why are they asserting less?” Then I can do more of what reduces them, and less of what triggers them.

4) Once I learn what triggers them, avoid the triggers. I know that I am a know-it-all and I often get into arguments with people because I correct them and they don’t like to be corrected. So, I can avoid all that by not correcting them. If commenting on status updates or posts on Facebook trigger my desire to be right and to make you know that I am right (which lacks humility), then I have to just not comment by giving you the grace to be wrong in my estimation. If I can’t do that, then I have to stay off Facebook altogether. Avoid the triggers, avoid the desires, avoid the desires, avoid the pride that robs me of humility and imprisons me in self-centeredness.

Feel free to suggest more.

Reviews

[Bishop R. Joseph Owles]

Thanks, I am deliberately being "conversational" as you say. I am writing as if I am giving Spiritual Direction to someone--the someone just happens to be me, but to me knowing that others are watching, so I can speak to them as well by talking to myself.

and I just made myself dizzy...

[Trigorin]

Very nice article. You've got a very conversational writing style which works well with this topic, and I think you've hit on a very important problem with the Church today. You've done a fantastic job outlining and supporting your points. Normally I'd look for something to correct you on, but you seem to have everything locked down very well. Wonderful work.