Your Beauty

You’re the one who doesn’t believe you’re beautiful.
Looks into a cursed mirror every day
Calls yourself names that others have called you
Believe them because they’re all you have.
You’re the one who doesn’t believe they care about you.
Looks at your friends and whispers apologies
For existing, for breathing, for taking up space
Disappears quietly because you don’t believe you’re worth it
Because you don’t believe them when they say they do.
You’re the one who brushes it off like it’s nothing,
Changes the subject and the tone
Stays up late at night
And distracts yourself so you won’t think about it.
You’re the one who writes to forget
Expels your thoughts onto paper,
Leave them to sit in a closed notebook
While you lie awake and you stare at the ceiling 
And you let the weight of the words drag you into sleep
Finally, so you can breathe.
You’re the one you think is unimportant,
The one you can’t believe in.
You can’t see it in yourself but you have so much strength
Kept in your insides,
Filling your lungs and your stomach and your heart
Along your arms and your legs and your neck
Like the fire red of your hair
And the light in your eyes
And the blood in your veins
And the way though the space between your ears
Spiral
You can still laugh and your voice can sing and speak
And you can still sleep and get up and smile like you mean it
Like the way your pulse is a battle drum
And even though you’re outnumbered, outgunned,
You go on fighting.
You don’t think you’re beautiful,
But your beauty is in living.

Author's Note

written about another friend

Reviews

[Haley]

i can tell you're the kind of person that sees beauty in just about everything and everyone. hold on to that. i loved this poem, it really spoke to me, especially because like mostly everyone else, i continue to struggle with being my own worst enemy and with my self-esteem. i like the way you emphasize the aspect battling with yourself, especially when you look in the mirror. great job.