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A Poem by Sylvia Faff
"

The lesson has begun

"
Why?
I ask you.
Why can't we just drown,
Behind layers of music and time 
Mantles of broken words and frivolous meanings 
Down the roads to which we have been blessed 

Why can't we be mummified?
In the sonnets we write 
And the raps we sing 
About the Fights
And struggling
About love
And loss
Purity
Pain

Why?

We
Must
Be left
To be hung
by the feelings
Locked In our hearts
And chained by our minds
To be tortured with happiness
To writhe in pleasure at the sight of grief
To laugh uncontrollably at love
To cry and feel nothing
To laugh and die
To be scared
Of nothing.

Why can't we?
Be tortured endlessly
By the parasite that is unrelenting

Freedom from pain is all that remains
After the last bit of humanity
Is stripped away
And forgotten.

Enjoy your stay
Welcome to the rapture






© 2013 Sylvia Faff


Author's Note

Sylvia Faff
When you read this what do you: think, feel, associate with, remember?

I tried to make a price that didn't nessesarily make sence but envoked some emotion so I'd like to hear your responses to it :)

My Review

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Reviews

I really liked it! Good job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Haha, I loved this! I loved the structure! It was good, very clever, great job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


I like the visual construction of this poem - clever. The initial question sets the tone, and I am still left with it at the end: "Why can't we just drown, Behind layers of music and time?" I think in a way, we do "drown" in our art - whatever that may be. Or at least, we get lost in it for a while, dead to the world outside our own imagination. A great and provocative piece!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Great write and nice play of the fonts and the length of the line. The pom was well expressed and well explored, good job (:

Posted 8 Years Ago


Dear Roshan

I thought I would pop over and say hello by way of reviewing one of your pieces of writing.

As I have often said before on here, I always read profiles and author's notes before I review anything. But I never ever read anyone else's reviews.

Your profile?

It interests me you say you are dyslexic. My partner Susan is also dyslexic and I know the problems it can cause and how hard it can be to deal with them. In looking at this piece however, your grammar, spelling and the order of your words is beyond complaint.

Secondly, there is a hint of self-derision in your profile - 16 years old and just starting out as a hobby. May I just say this to you. Sometimes it is the younger amongst us who are only starting out, who shine out rather more in their writing than the 'old hands.'

Why?

Because they have something fresh to tell us all.

Style? Above all I love the simple shape of this, where the words on the page narrow only then to extend again.

It marvellously enhances its meaning because in the first part you ask questions, which you then attempt to answer.

Meaning? Ah now there you have me.

All writing has personal meanings which we as writers may only fully explain or we may veer instead towards partially or even completely obscuring, should indeed there be any meaning at all.

Some of us at times are simply using words to create a feeling.

Where there is a degree of obscurity, the reader is above all then obliged to form his / her own opinion, to derive it and perhaps only play back to the writer in review how this relates or not to their own personal experience of life.

In your case, there is a degree where you seek to obscure; a sense in which you even at times self-contradict.

At the outset you state:

'Why can't we just drown,
Behind layers of music and time '

Perhaps you then explain why by asking the question why:

'Why can't we be mummified?
In the sonnets we write
And the raps we sing
About the Fights
And struggling
About love
And loss
Purity
Pain'

Your answer is stimulating but incongruous:

'We
Must
Be left
To be hung
by the feelings
Locked In our hearts
And chained by our minds
To be tortured with happiness
To writhe in pleasure at the sight of grief
To laugh uncontrollably at love
To cry and feel nothing
To laugh and die
To be scared
Of nothing.'

To me it is as if you advocate, writing to be a meaningless art, where passion should not exist unless it is to mock.

Perhaps in the following words you self-contradict by seeking to imply that all our writing should be passionate and meaningful:

'Why can't we?
Be tortured endlessly
By the parasite that is unrelenting'

Your conclusion is vague, but my own interpretation is that if we are not careful as writers by losing passion and pain we lose all of our humanity:

'Freedom from pain is all that remains
After the last bit of humanity
Is stripped away
And forgotten'.

Perhaps instead it is that in the passion of writing we find release from pain.

But your final words are the most intriguing as therein lies your final conclusion which leaves begging questions:

'Enjoy your stay
Welcome to the rapture'

As I find an ambivalence to the meaning of your poem, I am curious as to your final personal take.

Rapture is defined as a feeling of intense pleasure or joy or the expression thereof. It also has the complication of a different meaning dependent on its usage which is 'the transporting of believers to heaven at the Second Coming of Christ'

You can see how ne might be derived from the other.

As a writer you are having an intimate conversation with me as one reader. It is so easy when two people have met and talk that they walk away having misconstrued what was said.

I have found in reviewing as I have said before there is little point in being faint-hearted is providing my personal take on a piece, out of fear of getting it wrong. Were that so it would have been pointless having the conversation in the first place!

In passing, there is a term which you might like to look up, which means this exactly - 'not saying anything through fear of getting it wrong'. It is a very complex word derived from Ancient Greek, which precisely because it is so complex makes me smile as it expresses that very simple concept. The word is 'lathophobic aphasia'. Look it up on the internet for fun.

My take on your conclusion?

You insist that writing do remain in the world of the passionate and meaningful.

Or indeed it may be that it can be the reverse.

Perhaps in the end you express your own difficulties in starting out in writing and all its contractions.

In the end what you may actually be saying is 'Welcome to MY world'

I am the reader. I am as much entitled to the meaning I find as you as a writer are entitled to transmit yours.

In the end, does it really matter?

No!

Why?

Because you have just made your reader THINK!

And long may it be so.

Well written indeed.

With my warmest regards

Your friend


James Hanna-Magill

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sylvia Faff

8 Years Ago

wow..im actually speechless at your review but i love your take on it! i like to write poems on the .. read more
James Hanna-Magill

8 Years Ago

Dear Roshan

My complete pleasure.

Your friend

James
I love the way this was put together, very cool.. It made me reflect on why I am who I am and if it's really me or if its a facade to please everybody. It really got me thinking, I think i've been through my rapture but was that truly it or is there more in store .. just a really cool poem that makes you question yourself and your actions.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sylvia Faff

8 Years Ago

aww keegan thanks bro, means a lot =)
Ahhh Emblamatic form.
You have great rhythm. This poem shows that you can use language creatively to create a desired effect on your reader, even going beyond the meanings of the words themselves-- suit of the skilled poet. My only criticism would be to try and space out your rhymes..(Yours doesn't btw) BUT..Excessive rhyming can give off a Mother Goose - Dr. Seus sound. It has a tendency to really lighten a tone.

When I read the last sentence I felt fear, panic, and dread. This is a subject we tend to push away until the time we are confronted with it.

Incredible job buddy!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sylvia Faff

8 Years Ago

yea i try to use my rhymes to help with the flow but i try to avoid rhyme schemes for that very reas.. read more
brilliant as a poem and visually great....you haven't let me down yet sir

Posted 8 Years Ago


Dr. Wood ?

8 Years Ago

you deserve wonderful reviews my friend
Sylvia Faff

8 Years Ago

oh stop it you =P
youre gonna make me blush =P
Dr. Wood ?

8 Years Ago

join the club......
well penned...liked this specially- We
Must
Be left
To be hung
by the feelings
Locked In our hearts
And chained by our minds
To be tortured with happiness
To writhe in pleasure at the sight of grief
To laugh uncontrollably at love
To cry and feel nothing
To laugh and die
To be scared
Of nothing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sylvia Faff

8 Years Ago

Thnks!

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Added on April 3, 2013
Last Updated on April 3, 2013

Author

Sylvia Faff
Sylvia Faff

The Rapture



About
Thanks for stopping by my page! I hope you like what you read :) A little but about me? My name is Roshan (my friends call me RoRo :p) and I'm 21 years old. I'm studying medical science in Sy.. more..

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