Depression

Depression

A Story by roza

      I sit and wonder when will this depression end? I look around hoping to stumble upon something to keep me busy but as I look around I realize that my room could be the cause of my depression, so plain, so boring filled with too many memories. I feel as though sometimes I just need to get away from everything. I look out the window, although not needing to because I can hear the rain pouring down it.  So much for escape. All there’s really left to do is think. I think about my life,  pretty bad and not complete.  I feel empty inside. What’s worse than depression? What could get rid of this empty felling inside? But somehow I know the answer to my question as soon as it came up. Pain. Now I know for sure something is seriously wrong, thoughts like this have never come to me no matter how hard it got . There must be another option.

     Id turn to food but I’ve already been there and it ended with me nearly having a stroke, now I’m the topic of everybody’s jokes. When will this depression end. I must distract myself, I cant keep thinking bout sad thoughts. So I attempt to think about happy things. At the moment nothing comes to mind. So I turn on my computer and stare at the blank screen waiting for it to load.

    I then realize there’s nothing to do on it except look at photos of the old times before everything changed, so I turn it off. I could read but I haven’t gone to the library for a while and I don’t feel like rereading a book. Ugh what to do. If I go on like this I can be sure things wont end well. So I grab my ipod and hit shuffle blasting the music so loud  no  thoughts could get through, until our song starts to play. Before I know it I’m in tears and my depression suddenly gets a lot worse. I cant take this anymore. The constant urge to fit in, always caring bout what people think, having to pretend I didn’t hear the painful comments people make about me , losing all my friends, and constantly being mocked. Why suffer anymore? Suddenly the answer comes to me not pain but the end. The end to it all. I fumble around in my desk looking for a paper and write my goodbyes.
    
    I step off my chair. Soon I’m gasping for air and realize I’ve made a big mistake but its too late.

   

© 2010 roza


Author's Note

roza
*WARNING* this text does contain suicide and i in no way promote it. its a very sad thing but sadly does occur but we can stop it. even if its just simply befriending someone. i wrote this in a time when i myself was feeling sad and depressed.i hope you like it. please rate and give me your feedback

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Featured Review

Its a story which emphasis about the odd hours of life and how a tired,pessimist.a teared person end his life because of the reason which could be change with courage ,motivation constant guidance of love ones.
explanation was good ,vocab were also ornamented on appropriate place.
End was quite a painful saga of life.

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A sad story indeed.

I like how much I see myself in this.
The constant struggle with depression and life in general.

I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Its a story which emphasis about the odd hours of life and how a tired,pessimist.a teared person end his life because of the reason which could be change with courage ,motivation constant guidance of love ones.
explanation was good ,vocab were also ornamented on appropriate place.
End was quite a painful saga of life.

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 2, 2010
Last Updated on December 2, 2010

Author

roza
roza

toronto, ontario, Canada



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