Mirror

A work in progress

Yellow teeth

Yellow hair

Yellow nails

Dried up and crusty right hand

Moon white feet

Balding head

Hairy face, chest and back

Legs and arms

Potato sack sagging bottom

Violet line stretched hips

You're a wreck man

He's cigarette smoking

Beer drinking

Got bad feelings

Suicide dreams

With a bland queen

Wears coats with torn cuffs

Backpack stuffed with planned bluffs

Watches cheek sucking crooks

Snatching all the good stoops

Author's Note

As mentioned in the description: this is a work in progress. Got myself stuck after the last stanza and can't really take it anywhere. Anyway, thanks for checking what I have so far. I'll try to get more done soon. All comments and criticisms welcome.

Reviews

[CLBombay]

The poem definitely has me interested! It certainly does make me want to continue reading more!! Love the "suicide dreams with a bland queen" line. Not entirely sure of it's whole meaning (yet) but that's probably a good thing - leaves people wondering. Good start; excited to read the rest sometime :)

[James O'Rourke]

Happy that you're interested to read more of it! I haven't really been tackling this piece as much as working on some new ones unfortunately. Your comment actually reminded me that this piece even existed! (cue the sad trombone.)

That aside, I think I might give this one an edit and lengthening at some point this week. Thank you as always for reading my work. Catch ya later!

[Scarlett-Helena]

A list of items named objectively. I enjoy this because you've captured, and accurately, milliseconds of self-loathing that are commonly felt but not talked about. Regardless as to whether it's personal or no: thank you for talking about it. I really do like your writing.

[James O'Rourke]

Thank you for checking it out. I've been in a rut of lists lately. However, it is very cathartic to get it out for me. Once everything on the list is crossed off, perhaps I can move on beyond myself.