Prologue

Prologue

A Chapter by Alysa Taladay
"

opening for The Wild Outdoors

"

     “Speaking of that woman, how’s she treating you these days? It must be hard working with one of Them all the time.”

     “She’s a slave driver! No, no, not really. She’s a very sweet woman. A little reckless, a bit unprofessional . . . but I enjoy working with her. She knows nothing about computers, though, it’s great. I grabbed her IP address a few months ago and I’ve been watching her monitor - and she wonders why I’m so efficient. I know what she’s doing or what she wants before she even tells me, and she can’t figure out how I’m doing it!”

     “Taji, you weasel! Isn’t that kind of rude?”

     “What? I’m not watching anything private! I’m not that mean! I’m just making sure we get our work done that much faster! I fixed her printer yesterday. The way she was complaining about it, you’d think it was rocket science.”

     “I couldn’t fix a printer. I fix cars, baby. Not hardware. By the way, is she still driving that pathetic 2206 pick-up? I wish she‘d let me fix That! Manual locks, no nav, no voice, no sat, grinds like a busted jet engine.”

     “Yes, she’s still got it. It hasn’t broken down, yet, either. Don’t get her wrong, though, she’s a bright woman. She’s just technologically challenged. Even for a human. I wish she’d get back in this office. I am so sick of sitting around here waiting on her. I don’t suppose she’ll be back for another couple of weeks, though, unless a report comes in, or some miracle happens and she finds something. I had time to disassemble her printer yesterday! I shouldn’t have time to do that!

     “Speaking of the time I have on my hands: I’ve been meaning to ask you if you wanted to go to that new Mediterranean restaurant, downtown. My parents celebrated their anniversary there the other night, they said it was really fantastic. Soft music, classy candle light, antique 1900’s styling, and they cater to our kind. Just imagine! The best gyro you’ve ever had in your --”

     “Oh, you! You’re really something! It sounds very dreamy, though, but I can’t tonight. I’m fixing dinner for Mom ‘cause she’s working late. I swear, Dad is hopeless in the kitchen. What about tomorrow?”

     “Eleven o’clock?”

     “That’s so late! Eight o‘clock, Taj.”

     “Ten? I want to eat when there’s more of us around and fewer of them.”

     “That does sound nice . . . Nine. Most of them will be home by nine, and that will give us more time together. But I want to be in bed by one a.m., Taji, you hear me? No more side-trips to computer stores, pawn shops, grocery stores, book stores, the library --”

     “Rayen, love, you know me! I’ll get you there! No stops, this time, I promise! I‘ll have you home by midnight!”

     “You better believe I know you! I will believe That when I see it!”

     “Well, maybe one.”

     “Hah! No later, you hear me? I need to be back in the shop in the morning. . . . I have to go. One of my guys is about to disconnect the hud on that poor old roadster, just as we’ve gotten the thing calibrated.”

     “Sure thing �" wait. The same car, Ry? From last week?! Haven’t you finished with that thing, yet?”

     “The same. We finally got the hud calibrated and upgraded, new media screen, seatbelts, upholstery, flooring. . . . We should be able to get it back to the customer by tomorrow . . . uh, oh. I gotta go, babe.”

     “Sure thing.”

     He closed the voice program and locked his tablet. As the screen turned dark, he traced one edge thoughtfully with his fingers, a soft smile playing on his lips.



© 2011 Alysa Taladay


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Featured Review

Ok, you've piqued my interest.

I do love dinosaurs (Jurassic Park FTW), I just don't write about them because I'm too busy dreaming about stars (astronomy, not lame/rich people).

This obviously takes place well after 2206, but we do not know the exact date yet. This can be viewed as a good thing, it keeps the reader engaged because they need to infer info rather than having it spoon fed.

I'll await the follow up (assuming you will have one, *crosses fingers)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"Slave driver"... not the most potent joke, in my opinion. especially if she doesn't bicker and tell him what to do (which you don't talk about). maybe something dealing with her age?

my next concern is with the story. all it consists of so far is dialog. by the second line, you should have set us in a scene/location and designated who is talking. otherwise you just have two voices, and that's not very interesting :(

"Even for a human."
this constant barrage of dialog without knowing whether it's through phone, or face-to-face, or what... i read this line and really couldn't care. and as a prologue, this isn't doing anything. this is more of a scene, the middle of a scene. you don't set up any foundations; history or psychology or even identity (of characters)... and this leads all this information to crumble. it's nothing, irrelevant. start the story, then lead us on with these strange statements about the future and not being human. interesting, but certainly not a prologue.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ok, you've piqued my interest.

I do love dinosaurs (Jurassic Park FTW), I just don't write about them because I'm too busy dreaming about stars (astronomy, not lame/rich people).

This obviously takes place well after 2206, but we do not know the exact date yet. This can be viewed as a good thing, it keeps the reader engaged because they need to infer info rather than having it spoon fed.

I'll await the follow up (assuming you will have one, *crosses fingers)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on September 13, 2010
Last Updated on November 3, 2011
Tags: dinosaurs, scifi, drama
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Alysa Taladay
Alysa Taladay

Xuri lu'Xal Enji



About
*** Explanation of my absence on this site, and where to find my writing: http://www.writerscafe.org/ryozaem/blogs/Dealing-with-Life/24335/ *** EDIT: I'VE SINCE RETURNED. -ISH? I write about dinos.. more..

Writing
The Mezoi The Mezoi

A Chapter by Alysa Taladay