Bizaare

I used symbolic words to cover the characters of this poem the hidden story that maybe someone could understand someday.

The eyes that as brown as the sugar in my hand,
The hair that as calm like the waves in the ocean,
The smile that can melt the irons on the ground,
The laughter ringing loud as the clapping sounds
of the claws of crustaceans.
I may never be able to compare thy beauty
But the words are longing for you oh my deity,
I sound like a man and you're the damsel but in reality,
You are the earth's idol of masculinity.
As the days of the sun in the east is drawing near,
And the bells hanging low cheering,
The moon of the sheep from the east longing for its dear,
Waiting for the sun from the west's soulful meeting.
Life must go on, and it's high time to cut the sheep from dreaming,
But the soul will remain travelling.
As the sun from the west has yet to appear,
The sun from the east will not be put into fear,
Who is greater? the question will be,
Who are meant to be? is what about to see.
But the earth has only one moon and sun in the sky
And time will tell who are meant and chosen,
now we must go on for the sheep will go to eastern high,
As the moon awaits for the great westerner to be awaken,
Bizaare and mad you may think these words are,
'cause it is a labyrinth that is sealed by its maker
To hid the treasures of the moon
From the sleeping western sun's rival,
All for the sake of the easterner's betrothal.

- Myle Rent
10/02/14

Author's Note

Thank you for reading, please feel free to leave a review or comment, I will deeply appreciate it. Thanks!

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

What an intriguing writing. I don't have a very formal attitude but as I read there were a few moments when I was forced to stop. Some will comment on punctuation. Some will wonder about "I sounds" and a few other grammatical issues. I'll leave it up to you.. I really enjoyed the allegorical accent of the writing. The comparisions at the start are enchanting, the allusion to divinity and celestial involvement are dreamy and mythological. The part the intrigued me the most is the reference to reflective light and its relation to the western world.

A little enigma for me, greatly received.

Thankyou

[Myle Rent]

Thank you so much Rene, you gave such a helpful and constractive review. :)

[Angad Waraich]

"As the sun from the west has not yet appear"
As the sun from the west has not yet appeared
or
As the sun from the west has yet to appear
Maybe the only line with a minute fault.
All in all a good write.
Enjoyed it.
Thank you for sharing

[Britney S. Lewis]

I saw that you had posted something from 06 and it is completely different from this. Your writing has grown magnificently. Good job!

[Myle Rent]

thank you Britney =)

[Myle Rent]

Wow thank you I over looked at that part :), you're very helpful.

[Britney S. Lewis]

Haha you are so welcome!