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where the heart is free

where the heart is free

A Poem by sabinn
"

a spontaneous write

"

Let’s just speak,

Me to you and you to me.

 

I just want to lean,

On a shoulder I believe.

 

Where words open up,

And the heart is free.

 

Oh! You pretty woman,

How can I be so weak?

 

I have a jealousy,

When you are far from me.

 

Your words to other,

Here my heart screams.

 

I found a heart same as mine,

I just want it to be right this time.

 

Wrong or right never mind ,

I found you after all this time.

 

No I don’t want to let go,

Cause I want you to be with me this time.

 

Oh! woman you make me believe,

The demons inside can rest in peace.


With you I have been me,

I don’t wanna loose this feeling.

 

I am awake only with the words you say,

Without you into pieces I will break.

 

This lonesome finally found its place,

This time I won’t hesitate.

 

I miss you to be with me,

To be you and sing along with me.

 

That harmony that we share,

I don’t wanna loose it, just stay the same.

 

Be you and I will be we,

I promise we can walk through this lane.

 

With your lullaby in my head,

I can finally sleep alive in bed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2019 sabinn


Author's Note

sabinn
do review

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Reviews

This is a heartfelt honest conversation, well-expressed with tenderness & longing. In the beginning, you invite the "other person" to join in the conversation . . . so it would be nice if you included this other person more in the way this conversation goes, instead of this being all about how the narrator feels. This could be done also showing glimpses of the "other side" of this conversation, this would make it feel more like a conversation & less like an outpouring from a lonely person to nobody in particular. Your poem is completely true-to-life for the way people are -- humans are self-absorbed & even when we try to include the other person, we end up voicing our own concerns, which this narrator does in a understandable way (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 5 Months Ago


this is very cute. I really like the two line at a time format, I love some of the rhymes, I really do adore the whole thing.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
sabinn

1 Year Ago

really appreciate your words and thank you very much.
WeakFreak

1 Year Ago

no problem
I get it. I feel what you are saying. I think you are speaking of one woman in particular, though. If so, change 'women' (plural) to 'woman' (singular). The poem will be much clearer if you do.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sabinn

1 Year Ago

some feelings can better described with poetic words PS: i didnt saw that mistake thank youand i wil.. read more
So very poetic, I enjoyed this write. nicely written

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sabinn

1 Year Ago

thank you :)

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4 Reviews
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Added on May 16, 2019
Last Updated on July 10, 2019

Author

sabinn
sabinn

Kathmandu, Nepal



About
Your thoughts can play the string for the melody that eases one's heart 😊❤️ Follow me on insta:- sabin_shresthaa more..

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