Liars truth

What if I tell you that I am a liar?
What if I tell you I am an actor?

I have lied all this time,
Pretended to be calm.

Lived as someone I am not,
Showed what I portrayed.

Look what I have been,
Now writing what I have seen.

I wonder if I could ever tell you,
I never gave up on you.

Will this make any change,
If I told you I have waited from the day you left.

I tried to be best, a better version of self,
Look where I ran into, but yet nothing has changed.

All those walk and all those writes,
It was meant for you even if I hide.

All those journey and all those prayer,
The only wish was 'you'.

Yup I am a liar,
Couldn't spill the truth.

If only I was meant for you,
But I know, every wish doesn't come true.

Cause I know I am a liar,
And his truth can never be true.

Author's Note

Do drop some reviews

Reviews

[Haley]

What a piece! It was honest and brave especially to recognize yourself as a liar. Not to sound pseudo deep, but we are all liars, everything we say and think can/will be skewed based on the lies we tell ourselves. Really great job and very fun to read!

[sabinn]

Thank you so much 😊

[Coyote Poetry]

Your words are true my friend.
"Cause I know I am a liar,
And his truth can never be true."
Old wisdom, a liar will always be a liar. Nice flow of thoughts led to the proper ending. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[sabinn]

Thank you so much for going through my work 😊

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed your work and you are welcome.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Very interesting title, it captured my attention big time. The poem was also very interesting held my eyes. Nicely penned, tyfs

[sabinn]

Thank you so much 🥰

[Chris Shaw]

Holding back on feelings can give out the wrong message. Some are afraid to express how they feel until it is too late. Being dishonest I guess. It has consequences. Good to read you again sabinn. Happy New Year.

Chris

[sabinn]

Thank you so much for reading 😊

[Alenna H]

Your poem is really nice, but there are some grammatical errors.

-> What if I tell you I am an actor?" - make it -> "What if I tell you that I am an actor?"
Because your first line is ''What if I tell you that I am a liar?'' and includes the word 'that'. It's the
correct form of writing.

-> I wonder if I could ever tell you, - make it - > I wonder if I could ever tell you
I never gave up on you. that I never gave up on you.
There's no need for that comma after line 1, and the 2nd line needs the word 'that'.

-> Will this make any change,
If I told you I have waited from the day you left.
make it -> Would it make anything change
if I told you I have waited since the day you left?
OR
Would it change anything,
if I told you I have waited since the day you left?
I think 'Would' is a better word than 'will' in this case. No need for the comma. Also, those 2 lines are a
question, right? It needs a Question mark if it is. And...I think 'since' would be of better use than 'from'

-> "I tried to be best, a better version of self,
Look where I ran into, but yet nothing has changed."

make it into->
"I tried to be the best, a better version of myself.
Look where I ran into, and yet nothing has changed."

See, you try to be THE best, not best. And you try to be a better version of yourself, so it should be MYSELF, not self. And in the 2nd line, I have no idea what you're talking about -- "Look where I ran into". You don't run into places, you run into people. If you are talking about a place, then it shouldn't be 'ran into'.
If you're talking about a person, then it should be 'WHO I ran into'.

-> All those walk and all those writes,
It was meant for you even if I hide.

I don't get it, line 1. It should be 'All those WALKS' . but what do you mean by 'All those writes'?
Like, you could say 'all those poems' or 'all those stories', but all those writes doesn't make sense.

-> "All those journey and all those prayer,
The only wish was 'you'."
It should be All those 'journeys', plural, and 'walks', plural. and replace 'The only wish' with 'MY only wish'.

-> 'Yup I am a liar,
Couldn't spill the truth.'

I don't think you can use 'YUP' for poetry...try YES instead.

-> Cause I know I am a liar,
And his truth can never be true.
I don't think you could use CAUSE in poetry either, but your choice.
Line 2 - do you mean "And THIS truth can never be true." ?

Besides this, your poem's great.

[sabinn]

Thank you so much I really honour the advice, but I am not a person with the literature background for me poetry is something that makes people feel about what I am feeling write now and I guess only grammar correction won't make it right I want it to be raw and a little messed up. I don't actually want to follow the rule of how a poem should be written I am more about what I want to make others feel. Also I wrote in the second line with out 'that' intensionally. But really I respect your suggestions and sure in my coming work I will use your advice. Thank you so much for giving your time and reading my poem and taking time to write the reviews for my poem. Thank you so much.

[Alenna H]

Wow. I'm sure you'll make a great poet, sabinn (If that's what you want to become). I really appreciate your way of looking at poetry. Most times I just focus on grammar and wording of things, but what you've said is amazing. Seriously, I didn't think much of that while writing any of my work. Keep up your wonderful work! 😊

[sabinn]

Thank you so much 😊