a soul's desire

this is a poem that just suddenly popped up hope like it :) criticism also welcomed

bring me your tarnished heart 

and  i will polish it.

bring me your bounty of tears

and my touch will wipe it.

bring in your biggest fears 

and  i will hold your hand to pass it.

open your book of feelings 

 and i will dust off the pessimism that the ordeal has stored.

show me the storm in your head

and i will shelter you from the damage

just break the wall of this inhibition

and hug me with all your vulnerability 

i promise you would not feel guilty

this is a hidden wish of every soul 

to be bestowed upon 

love is the essence 

that this world thrives upon.

Reviews

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Wow the real essence of life is all in your lines.............

this is a hidden wish of every soul
to be bestowed upon
love is the essence
that this world thrives upon.

You did a wonderful job my friend by sharing this, thanks a lot.

[Cassie]

Very true the last line. love is the essence that this world thrives upon. Good one girl

[raj24]

there are always two sides..one thats breaks..other that holds it together..your words rightly portrayed both the sides..hopes n fears..n love surely has that power to overcome all the fears to rise above everything..lov is hope in itself...another nicely written work..your strength is simplicity..thats where you move your readers with you..

Regards
Raj

[Pushkar Prabhat]

very beautiful.......
i like the line of thoughts here......
well written.....lovely message!
i liked it!!!
:)

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

I think that you have good bones here but a slight tweaking is needed?

bring me your tarnished hear i will polish it. Missing the t and the I should be capitalized

these lines are perfect and compliment your opening

bring me your bounty of tears
my touch will wipe it.

open your book of feelings
i will clean the dust stored it it. Omit the second "it"

I will clean the dust and store it

some type of transition is needed here

this is a hidden wish of every soul
to be bestowed upon

love is the essence
that this world thrives upon.

Suggestion

bring me your tarnished heart and
I will polish it.

bring me your bounty of tears and
my touch will wipe it.

bring in your biggest fears as
I will hold your hand until it passes

open your book of feelings and
I will clean the dust off and store it.

for I know that this is the
hidden wish of every soul
to be bestowed upon

for love is the essence
that this world thrives upon.


as a rule I generally don't tweak someone's work but I thought it was easier for you to see the changes I made....at the end of the day trust your own voice.

[sakshi arora]

thank you for your valuable comment . a very constructive one i l make few changes :)

[Sami Khalil]

A very powerful and touching poem. Lovely, lovely and lovely...:)......

[sakshi arora]

thank u so much :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).........

[Tania]

"love is the essence
that this world thrives upon."
Love the ending !
This was such a nice poem!

[sakshi arora]

thank u so much :)

[Amulya Bhardwaj]

Cutteeeee..... lovelyy.. nice one!!

[zainul]

The poem touches my heart.
I love the sincerity expressed in the piece.

Sakshi,do you think that the meaning will be greatly changed if you omit 'and' at the beginning of the second line of the couplet?

[sakshi arora]

YEAH actually haha i edited t thanx for this constructive review :)

[zainul]

You are welcome,dear friend.
There is a typo in the first line.
'Heart' has lost ' t' and became hear.So I was wondering what was missing.
At last,I found it.
Thank you Sakshi for the nice work.

[CA Anurag Sharma]

"Love is the essence that this world thrives upon".....wonderful lines..... I wish if everyone starts to think like that then world will become a beautiful place to live in..... good one