dearest d, love mom

dearest d,

my sweet prince, why have you gone? even after 13 years, i still wait for you to waltz through our french doors with your head in the clouds. always in the clouds, you are. my sweet, sweet dear, my exquisite angel.
not a day goes by where i don't see your face on that of another's. not a day goes by where i don't hear your voice trailing from a stranger's mouth. please come home, dear, please.
if i could, i would bring you home myself, steal you from your hiding spot and give you my all. you're too young to be up lost, my dear. you were supposed to stay in the clouds, not above them. silly child, silly helpless child, come back done. please, dear, please.
the day i watched you leave will forever be the most difficult to recollect, to fathom. so much potential, so much love, so much life laid to rest. useless, a waste. please, dear, please, come home, come home.
my darling son, my tears for you are endless. i've spilled oceans over your departure, tried to swim every river i've built to reach you--all to no avail, all to no avail. please, dear, please, let me drown in my sorrow.
i beg you, sweetheart, please allow me to awaken from this nightmare. nudge my shoulder and pull me up. if this is to be reality, i'm afraid i cannot go on. 13 years i've been waiting for an alarm, and now i know it's not coming. you won't be walking through our french doors, you won't be walking through any doors. you are gone, you've been gone; your last breath escaped you so long ago. i'm coming to join you, though. soon, my dearest, soon i will see you. i can feel my limbs falling numb, my heart slowly searching for you. soon, my dear, i'll see you soon.

-mom