Military Wedding

Tell me what you think!

 

     January 15, just two weeks since I said “Yes.” to my fiancé, Joshua, over satellite phone. With him being stationed in Iraq, I knew he was doing everything in his power to come home. We already have everything planned from the dress, to the cake and after party, even his grand entrance. All perfectly planned and awaiting for his arrival.

      Instead of both of us walking down the aisle together (like I had planned it) Bethany, my sister in-law and Maid of Honor, had suggested his homecoming be a little more grand.

      “Just think of the dramatic effect it will give everyone to remember. Can’t you see it! Your standing down by the alter, the doors open to reveal Joshua. The crowd will go crazy! Can’t you just imagine the look on your face when you get to see him?” She explained.

    “Don’t worry,"Bethany said before I could even argue. “I’ve already sent him instructions and all that so you won’t have to fret over it.”

      So whether I liked it or not (which I didn’t), I went along with it thinking, “I don’t care just so long as I get to see his face again”

 

     “Honey, calm down.” My mother said. “They’ll be here, don’t worry. You know that Joshua would walk here if he had to.” She came and hugged me, careful to not wrinkle my dress.

      I took a deep breath, trying to slow my racing heart.

      She right just relax. He’ll be here, It’s only five minutes till the wedding starts.

      I began pacing faster.

      My mother suddenly went through the closed church doors, and I caught a quick glance of the people packed into the pews, all whispering to themselves.

      I can’t do this! I panicked. I can’t do this without Joshua here.

      Mother comes back dragging Uncle Arnold behind her, who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

      I could relate.

     “Here, our solution.” She pronounced. “Arnold, you’re going to stand outside and give us a signal when he arrives.”

      “Outside? In the cold!” He asked.

      “Yes,” My mother said, dragging him to the door. “Outside, under the stars, in thirty-five degree weather, now go!” She shoved him out, then turned back to me. “Dear, we need to be getting in our places. It’s time!” She gave me a peck on the cheek before hurrying through the doors again.

     “Already.” I squeak, my head feel suddenly dizzy.

      I feel a strong arm slip through mine, and I look up at my father, who’s smiling.

      He kissed my forehead before saying, “Everything is going to be fine.” He assured me, and for some reason I found needed strength in those few words.

     Inside the church, the piano begins to sing and I recognize my cue.

     “Well,” I whispered to myself. “Let’s do this.”

     We walked through the church doors and the whole room erupts with excited murmuring. I smile at the familiar faces sitting in the white ribbon pews.

      Willing my stiff legs forward and in what seems like no time, we’re at the alter. My father turns so that we’re both facing the doors.

     Come on, Joshua. I prayed. After all it was a church.

     Seconds tick by, then minutes. There’s throat clearing in the audience, the piano player stops the music after ten minutes.

     I was still standing there praying when Uncle Arnold slipped back to his seat, but not until he gave me a thumbs up.

    The doors fly open, and applause erupts when the uniformed army men come walking though the doors.

     Four men line each side of the aisle while two more stand there at the door, blowing their silver horns.

     Excited murmurings ran through the crowd. This is it! He’s here. Oh, he’s here!

     The two men up front step aside to let a figure pass, but I quickly recognize the person walking down the aisle.

     Henry, one of Joshua’s dearest and oldest friend in the military, walks toward me with red rimmed eyes.

     I smile thinking how sweet it was that Henry came, now everything was perfect.

     Henry walks closer and I notice the white sword he’s carrying in his hands, then the silver writing carved on the blade.

     Joshua

     Henry stops before me and gives a salute before handing me the sword.

     “I’m sorry.” He said and the flowers I were gripping fell out of my hands as my world reduced to dark.

　

      Thunder echoed in the distant as I stood by the white granite tombstone. I read the words carved there over and over again.

                                 Joshua Stantly

                                  1990 - 2011

                             Died protecting his country

                                  and loved ones.

                             May God bless his soul.

      “Why did you leave me?” I whispered. “You said you would be there in time to say “I do.”. You told me you’d stay with me forever.” Tears stream down my face. “Why did you go?”

      Very gently, a hand touched my face and my heart stopped.

      I know that touch. I remember it.      I turn my head slowly, fearing that any sudden movement would make the touch disappear.

     It was him and he stood inches from me dressed in in bloody army fatigues. Carefully I touch his face, his eyes never leaving mine. He leaned down and kissed me once.

      “I will always protect you both.” He said, taking a couple of steps back to give me a salute.

      While his body disappeared in the wind, I laid a hand on our unborn child.

Author's Note

I kind of wrote this on the fly, so please tell me what you think!

And tell my if i need to pick another title i'm not quite sure about this one.
Sorry for the grammer mistakes, and thanks for helpping me correct them.

This piece received:
* (Featured Writing) for the Featured Writing for February contest.
* (Best love story) in the Love <3 contest
* (Killing Heartbreaker) in the Tragic Romance contest

Reviews

[AK]

I've reviewed this too but my previous short review sure doesn't do justice to your wonderful story. It. Is. Totally. Awesome. I love the atmosphere that this poem has-cool and far away yet warm and so close to your heart. The ending was utterly brilliant, I couldn't tell you how much I liked it. Perfect balance of emotions ajd wonderful beginning! I really love it Summer! Don't you ever(dare) stop writing! Joking, lol, good day!

[The XYZ Writer]

O.O I could've sworn I'd already reviewed this. But really this was amazing. One of the best pieces you've written yet. So heartfelt. I couldn't believe it at the end. He died.....I was clasping my hand at my mouth.

*applauds* Good job Breeze, good job. :)

[Jasmine Thousand]

This was absolutely spectacular

[Cancelled]

LOVE IT! AMAZIN!

[Archia]

Awww, that is tragic and heartbreaking and awww. I was already crying when I found out her had died, but then the unborn child. That's just so terrible. I loved the emotions in this, it was so wonderful.
There were times though, when I felt it needed a bit more description, like the wedding hall. But then, maybe too much description would take away from the emotion. Oh I don't know, I'm usually not helpful like this. There were also a few typos but those are simple things.
Anyway, I loved this, so sad.

[Evita]

I really liked the tragic ending, and the part with the unborn child. I think your grasp on writing is very good, the story flowed quite well and it built into the ending perfectly, I was surprised and I felt the emotions of your character.

This is a lovely short story but it definitely needs some editing as you mentioned. There are switches between tenses, words out of place, etc. And I think it would invoke even more sympathy and sadness from a reader if you included some anecdote about the couple that the bride remembers... Or something else to maybe lengthen the story just a little.

[Summer D.]

Oh god. I sobbed at the end.
I let out this little strangled cry....
The end just really got me. It did.
This was an amazing piece. You got the emotion-part down pat.
There was a change in text which you should fix but otherwise I can't think of any criticism to offer..

[SwagMaster]

I'm crying!! So heartbreaking and tragic, and the grief so clearly portrayed. I loved it.

[AK]

Beautiful story...the emotions are perfect. I really like the ending.

[Jamie Raintree]

Aww. I really like this story. So heartbreaking. The biggest thing I noticed was that you switched between past and present tense. I also would have liked to see you flesh out the story a little more. But I like the main character. She seems very sweet. And the story is such a beautiful one.