Indescribable

I've had emotions I can't explain or give a proper name or description, until now. Let me know your thoughts.

Feeling nothing at all is worse.
All I hear is white noise,
and everything feels like static interference.
Once beloved tantalizing dishes,
now altered to ash in my mouth,
tastebuds becoming curdled.
What was once my muse,
is how I keep myself distracted.
Barely satisfied with myself.
Everything ending with identical results.
Nothingness.
I'm not sad,
I'm stagnant.
Eating feels unnatural.
Overanilizing each time I chew,
weirded out,
by the soggy mush residing behind my teeth.
Listening to music and zoning out,
deconstructing bars down to the bare note.
They become dissonant and foreign,
then indistinguishable,
A hair from inaudible.
I want something but nothing,
all at once.
I want to be somewhere but nowhere.
I feel I don't belong anywhere.
My head is toxic yet I'm thriving.
But I'm not.
I'm yes but I'm no,
I'm not happy,
not sad,
I'm nothingness.
I'm empty.
But I feel heavy.
A waterlogged cadaver,
cold as ice,
with ivory stained flesh,
Forgotten, still, and sunk to the bottom.
Even with the right words.
I'm at a loss.

Reviews

[Chris]

To say I KNOW that feeling risks your saying "Yeah right" but I aimed my car at a tree one Sunday morning close to 3 AM on an otherwise empty stretch of Eastern Shore road - somehow missed it ...and wrote about life. I walk my talk.

Catch a breath ...you've earned it.