Patient log #77

A man may be more than clinically depressed

Patient log # 77 Mr. John Peterson- 65-year-old male referred by his 

daughter who is concerned for his well-being. 

Symptoms include: Sudden onset of depression, dark mood swings,

loss of appetite, loss of zest for life and everyday pleasures such as: 

interacting with family. Unable to carry on or maintain lifestyle; 

loss of job.

Plan of action: Counsel the patient, prescribe appropriate 

meds and request further counseling.

I welcomed the tall, lanky, older man into the room. Like patients 

of mine before him, it started out routine. 

“Welcome, Mr. Peterson. I’m doctor Jones, I’m glad you decided to join me. Your daughter is worried about you.”

“Yes, I know.”

I extended my hand towards the leather chair across from mine. 

“Have a seat, Mr. Peterson.” 

He sat hunched over almost as if there were a weight on his shoulders and placed his hands in his lap crossing his long, slender fingers.

I noticed it had grown a bit cold in the room and the air a bit stale.

“Now then, your daughter tells me you’re depressed. Why don’t 

you tell me a little bit about yourself and why your daughter might think 

that.”

He continued to stare at the floor.“It won’t matter doc, you can’t help me.”

“Mr. Peterson, with all due respect, I am quite efficient at getting to the 

root of one’s problems. I think I can help, but you have to trust me. 

She says you’re not yourself, that you don’t attend family functions 

anymore, play with the grandkids, things you used to love doing. 

Why is that, Mr. Peterson?”

“This has nothing to do with you doc, nothing you can fix. It’d be best 

for you to leave it alone.” 

“Please, call me Steven, and would it be alright if I call you John, 

Mr. Peterson?”

“It doesn’t matter what you call me.”

“John, your daughter is concerned, she says you’re not eating; in fact, 

she says you stay locked up in your home most of the time.

I’m rather surprised by her description of your recent behavior, 

that you came today.

John, why not give it a shot? Who knows? Maybe I can help. 

It’s worth a try, you have nothing to lose.” 

He was quiet and rubbed the palms of his hands back and forth over 

the legs of his blue jeans.

“Doc, there is no help for me, and I’m telling you, it’d be best for you to 

leave it alone.”

“John, you want help or you wouldn’t be here.

John, I’d like you to do something for me.” 

I took out a mirror and handed it to him.“Hold this mirror in front of you 

and close your eyes, please.” He did as I asked. 

“Good, now what do you see?”

“Darkness.”

“Good, now open them. What do you see now?”

“Still . . . darkness.”

“In the mirror John, what do you see? I know you must see something 

other than darkness.” 

He looked me in the eyes for the first time since he’d come into the room,

and a chill ran down my spine at the absence of life in them. 

“I told you doc, I see darkness.” 

“OK, let’s try this a different way, John.” 

He stopped me before I could proceed. “Have it your way doc. Do you 

have a camera?” 

“A camera? I have one on my phone. May I ask why you would need a camera?”

“I would like for you to take a picture.”

“A picture of what John? Of you?”

“Yes, please.”

“Sure, I can do that.”

I walked over to my desk, grabbed my phone and sat back down in the 

chair across from John.

A weird request, I thought, but I wanted to help him.

I held the phone up and brought John into focus and snapped a picture.

I brought the phone down without glancing at the snapshot.

“OK, John, now what do you want me to do?”

“I’d like for you to look at the picture you just took, doc.”

I looked down at the phone and clicked the thumbnail of the picture I had 

taken, bringing it back onto the screen.

It took me a second to make any sense of the photo. I brought the phone 

down again and looked at John.

I was surprised my hands shook when I did this. I'm not one to

 be . . . taken by surprise, or easily rattled.

“You see it don’t you, doc?”

My eyes searched over John’s shoulder, back to the picture, and then to 

John again.

“I see something, yes, in the photo. I’m . . . I’m not certain what I’m 

seeing.” 

I knew what I saw, but it made zero sense. A snarling, grotesque beast, 

the most evil . . . thing, I had ever seen, crouched behind the old man,

its hands with long, dark talons pressed into the man’s shoulders. 

Its eyes were black, dead, much like the old man’s. Its teeth . . .I can only 

describe its teeth as being the size teeth you would find only 

on some long dead prehistoric creature. I hadn’t smelled the rotting flesh 

before, but the air was thick with it now. 

John looked at me and laughed, a deep, husky laugh that didn’t suit the 

frail-looking older man in front of me. Then he spoke again.

“It’s the darkness, doc, I told you.” 

 

Patient log#80 Mr. Steven Jones- 45-year old male referred by wife 

concerned for well-being. 

Symptoms include: Sudden onset of depression, dark mood swings, loss of appetite, loss of zest for life and everyday pleasures such as:

interacting with family. Unable to carry on or maintain lifestyle; 

loss of job. Plan of action: Counsel the patient, prescribe appropriate 

meds and request further counseling.

“So doc, now I’m here, talking to you. My wife thinks I’m depressed.” 

“I see.”

“Do you?What I’ve told you is precisely what happened, doc and now if you don’t mind, I would like to ask you for a favor.”

This cat is off his rocker. “Sure, Mr. Jones what is it?”

“Do you have a camera?”

Author's Note

Sorry if the text and paragraphs don't line up correctly. I have yet to perfect that when posting. I fix it and then it post all crazy.

Reviews

[Writergirl]

Well, the way I thought of it in my head when I was writing, is that patient # 77 passed the darkness to Dr. Steven Jones, therefore, he was no longer affected. Dr. Jones will pass the darkness to the next person, who happens to be a Dr. as well. That's one of the reasons John wasn't active with his family, for fear of passing it to them. If I were to make this a longer story, I would develop the plot to make it make a little more sense. I know it kinda leaves you hanging, wondering. Eventually, the darkness will be placed upon someone and they would ultimately be consumed by it, if that makes sense, unless they are lucky enough to pass it on. I am thinking of making this a full novel. It was just an idea that came to me and I rolled with it. LOL I guess for now, the reader can draw their own conclusions, but you make a very valid point. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment :)

[Writergirl]

Also, sorry for the confusion. I tried to word it in a way that the reader would see that Dr. Jones was telling the story to another doctor. I was a little unsure of just how to do that, but I'm glad you figured it out :)

[Ben Noah Suri]

Well, I am a bit dumb and rather slow on the uptake and therefore couldn't understand quickly. However, I have a few more doubts. Does that mean the darkness will only pass on to a doctor? Why must it be passed on. Can't we have a strong and powerful exorcist like character come and break the cycle. How did this vicious cycle begin? If you plan to make this into a novel all these questions will have to be addressed. Sorry, didn't mean to criticize....

[Writergirl]

If I make it into a novel, which I' m seriously considering, all questions will be answered. I don't take it as you're criticizing at all. Just with a short like this, I think it's best to leave some to the imagination. As far as it being only passed to a Dr. , it isn't. It can be passed to anyone. We could have an excorsist I guess, just for the short story though, there's not one involved yet. As far as how it began, it would need to be made into a longer story.

[Leon C]

A classic dark tale of the unexpected.

A really good creepy tale. I read your post explaining the story and it did clarify what I thought was going on. I think that the fact you felt a need to explain suggests that a bit of re-writing or editing is needed and that you have worked that out yourself.

Have you considered trying this piece as a screenplay as it has the makings of a wonderful short film.

[Kaelyn B.]

I really love this! I always have a thing for psychologically-related horror stories (one of my favorite novels is actually Asylum) and I've written a short story based around an asylum myself (which is actually not on here- just some drabble based horror I had an idea for) so this really piked my interest! The paragraphs don't actually line up properly, but that's all fixable.

[Writergirl]

Yeah, formatting is a tad frustrating when posting here. Thank you for reading and I'm glad you liked it!

[Samuel Dickens]

This is a well-written and interesting little horror tale of another kind of possession. Although it didn't paste right, it was still easy enough to read.

[Writergirl]

Thank you so much!

[Cryingkate]

Forgive me for doing a 3rd write, but I happen to notice some others had some slight trouble with the story.
I find this very strange cause it is usually me who has trouble getting a full grasp.
It might be good if I share my thoughts.
For me I grasped on quickly, perhaps it is because I already have the conceptions about how cameras can pic up things that the eyes cannot.
I related to the transferal of the darkness just as a vampire movie passes on the evil and creates more vampires.
I liked the extra hunt for clues when you gave Dr Jones first name Steven in the middle of the story.
It's like those real good movies when you watch them a second time or more and pick out more of the details and hints and clues.
I did have to go back and confirm that Dr Jones was indeed Steven.
I suppose if you wanted to make it more obvious you could simply just start your next Dr's Log
with :Patient log#80 Dr. Steven Jones But I like it. It's the extra touch of your stories like a who done it game. It's the hunt the find for the clues that add up. I like spotting the clues and hints along the way.

Well that's my two cents. From my point of view

PS... For me I don't care what happened to the last patient. The story for me is complete because it's the next victim that the focus is on. Just like in the vampire movies. The victims just line up and add on. It's the next victim that counts.

[Writergirl]

I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I'm also glad that you understood the story :) I also felt the story was complete for a short story. It leaves you curious ;)

[Cryingkate]

I agree for me it's complete and it also carries that reminder of how Evil spreads.

[Cryingkate]

By the way, I forgot to mention.
When I am having trouble with copying something over from one source to another and keeping the lines in order. I use my note pad on the computer.
However in this case with all the different text styles I would use my regular email to paste to and then copy from.
Have you tried using your regular email? It's those word documents that mess me up.
I hope someone can give you some professional advice on this.
Anyhow, Still, I was able to read it just fine.

[Writergirl]

Much thanks for the advice!

[Cryingkate]

I absolutely loved it ! It was suspenseful all the way.
I can't thank you enough for making my day with another of your creative writes.

You know what? I would actually pay to subscribe to a website of yours called " A Story a Day"

I really enjoy them that much. You really have a special gift.
By the way, Do you have a camera? Good, heres what I need you to do.
Take a picture of me.
:-) :-) :-)

[Writergirl]

LOL smile 📷. I would love to have a site like that. I'm glad you liked it.

[Cryingkate]

You know I think it could be a really scary story, touching a real nerve.
Can you imagine the actual truth behind it? Just imagine all the evil deeds done by Psychiatry already. It would be a great platform to use the Evil story while telling the truth of the Evil's done.
While the story is being told of a bogus scene the actual truth is being told and it would be creepy to realize in ones mind without being told , that the Evils are being done everyday right before us.
Well, Whatever you do with it, I'm sure it will be awesome.

[rickm97]

You have a good concept here to build on. One has no way to find the demon and dispatch him unless one infects himself via a snapshot. Then comes the question of morality: should one commit suicide to end the menace, or simply pass it along to some unsuspecting passer-by. And then, should one remove said passer-by from society using extreme prejudice?
Building blocks here, W. Awesome imagination.

[Writergirl]

Thanks for seeing the possibilities. I think this will be a fun write if I make it into a longer story. Thanks for reading!

[garrshaw]

I'm glad you added the review. I didn't make the connection between the first reference to Dr. Jones and the second Mr. Steven Jones. An unusual surname would have helped me.

Otherwise, there is a lot you could do with this because of the combination of horror and psychological thriller.

[Writergirl]

Thanks! I also think there are endless possibilities and directions I can take this in. I still hope that as a short story it was enjoyable.

[Ben Noah Suri]

You sure have a way of writing which keeps us engrossed and reading on... However, the title being patient log #77 and the end being with patient log #80 you had me confused. I now realise patient bearing log #80 Dr.Steven Jones has himself been affected by the forces of darkness and wonder if the Doctor treating patient bearing log #80 will become the next patient? Btw, still curious to know what happened to patient bearing log #77 ???

[Writergirl]

Thank you. Patient #77 passed it on. Doctor treating patient #80, his fate has not yet been determined, but I think it's safe to say he will be the next victim.