The Moth

Of course, the particular poet I was channeling in this one should be obvious.

  The moth come round the light of night

To circle deaths fear and capture its fright

Flittering around the blinking draw

Staring straight into its gaping maw.

Does the moth draw death near?

Does the moth embrace its fragile fear?

  Shadows creep, the moth avoids

No sounds to stir these gloomy voids

Darkened corners find no friend there 

Pitch in black doth no moth stare.

Does the moth burn in the light?

Does the moth know the darkness from the night?

  The moth it circles round my bed

I fear it warns me of my dead

For the light that sets its wings a flutter

I've hence put out to silence the mutter

  But still the moth bothers my bed

Still the moth drives me out of my head

Its powdery wings, what would be a whisper

Round my bed so loud they ring much crisper 

Does this incessant creature know not where it belongs?

Does it not know it's to circle lighted throngs?

  But round my bed steady wings it beats

Round my feet I fear death it seats

It's powder stains my finger tips

Twice its wings have brushed my lips

  This moth it will not go away

Upon my bed post it's here to stay

But I take little heed of the warning it's brought

For at deaths door, I've long in error fought

  This lunar creature stills away my sleep

Stills away my sanity with each wings peep 

Softly slipping round the glowing radio upon the night stand

This creature guides the reaper into the pouring sand

I rise to raise the window sash, in hopes the moth will flee and crash, it flutters round the gaping hole but through the window, it will not go. I throw on the light to better see this six legged fiend so that I might catch it mid flight and in so doing, throw it into the night. The moth circles, murky black, round and round once more, I raise my open hand and swing it what for, but clasp my fingers round round empty space, for there was no moth to fill that place. I swiped again and again into nothing but air and twice I felt the moths dusty hair.

  Round and round the room it flitters, dizzying with every pass

Round and round the moth brings death, in search of the now open sash

Still the light draws it near, still the light draws its fear

Still it circles round my bed, still I wish it flat and dead

  Again and again I swipe at nothing but air

To find myself ripping out my hair

Till I'm bald as a light bulb burning the night

Once more the moth flits off toward the light

  When at last I am able to sleep

I can't close my eyes to catch a peep

So though this winged beast is finally gone 

It blinks upon my eyelids for far too long

I tasted death upon my lips upon my lips and felt its wings upon my finger tips.

 

  

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is like edgar e. poe meets emily dickinson....the death theme in this...as she loved to write in apostrophe (from the perspective of the dead person) and yet poe-ish in its rhythm and dark theme.
reminds me of a video i show my class on dickinson...and there is a part of it where her poem 'wild nights" is being recited by jane alexander...and it shows a moth flittering around an old time lamp....getting all too close to the fire....dickinson had fantasies but probably no real physical relationship...maybe she and poe could have had a relationship based on mutual love for writing about death.

[realmwriter]

Thank you so much. Feels like an honor really, to be compared in such a positive way, to the likes of Poe and Dickinson! Really enjoy both of them, Poe is probably my top favorite though! Again, Thank you so much! It's appreciated!

[Bright Ocean Star]

Realm writer, I was absolutely enchanted. This one held me transfixed and it was a supreme pleasure to read from beginnig to end. I love the moth metaphor. Great writing! A new favorite.

[realmwriter]

Thank you so very much! It means a lot to me. And I am very happy that you like it!

[Riley Justine]

Such an amazing piece. I dearly hope you are a published writer because you have amazing talent. I hope I will be able to get over the writer's block I'm currently having to write like you.

[realmwriter]

Writers block is something we all experience. I find the best thing to do for me is to just not think about writing anything. I distract myself from writing for a minute and then, before I know it, something just pops into my head and I'll write three or four poems back to back to back. I've been published in an On-Line magazine but as yet, nothing that pays. Thank you very much, I appreciate your time and I am happy that you like this.

[Riley Justine]

I absolutely love your writing. And thank you so much for your advice concerning writer's block :)

[realmwriter]

You are welcome. And I am flattered.

[R Smith]

it feels like Edgar Allen Poe, mind you i see him everywhere, love his work, love this one of yours too, a quite remarkable journey you took to write at length about the simple moth, nice little creatures but bloody annoying when you don't want them around, your poem is excellent you are wothout doubt a very accomplished poet :)

[realmwriter]

Thank you for your complimentary words my friend. My only wish is that I be a published writer. I've been published in an on-line magazine and that's awesome. Anyway, I digress. Thank you my friend.

[MomzillaNC]

I never heard of a connection between moths and deaths. This is an interesting read. You began with a comfortable meter that beautifully carried your rhymes.

NOTES: I recommend you taylor the later lines that interrupt the meter to maintain the flow.

"I fear it warns me of my dead" Maybe "I fear it warns of deathly dread"
For the sake of meter, maybe, "I take little heed of the warning brought"

[realmwriter]

It does need a little burnishing to polish off the rough edges. Thank you fort he suggestions Zilla. I truly appreciate it. And I am very happy that you like it.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. Hope it was helpful.

[Rene Salinas]

What an intriguing narrative in fact if I woudn't know any better I would say that you are trying to emulate. Now is not nitpicking but if indeed that was the direction you intended then the phrasal verb come around is a British thing which I don't mind at all but it would seem out of place if emulation was intended. And so the structure seems intentionally dephased ? I did not get that rather than alltogether for the purpose to emphasize the narrative ? Ok I will leave those questions aside because on a personal level which ultimately is how I felt the writing -- I thought it was a inviting and certainly a moment to invoke dead poets from a not so long past. Can the moth differentiate the darkness from the light? Terrific question -- then when it begins to relate to your state of mind it becomes even more intriguing -- ultimately relating the episode to a two tone silence which once the deaden embraces and darkness enlivens. It certainly brought good memories. A good glass of brandy for you then.

Cheers!

&

Thank you.

[realmwriter]

Thank you so very much for your poignant words. I will slowly sip on that glass of brandy. I do enjoy a good glass from time to time. Pleased that you like this one very much. To answer your questions. No I was not trying to emulate, I could never hope to achieve such success as say, Poe. But I appreciate the sentiment. The verb come was a typo, but I liked the way it read when I read over the piece, so I left it as such. I do try to emphasize the narrative by playing around with the meter and such, not sure if it is successful or not though.

[Rene Salinas]

My view would be to look at it like a prose - poem with paragraphs you wouldn't worry about structure then. Good stuff all the same with tie it will probably find its own way.