Gnome In My Garden

I can never catch that little bugger!

Gnome In My Garden by Michael G. Smith

              with editions and inspirations by Beccy

It’s neither a mole nor gopher, but a gnome which rules my Eden

Busy tending to fresh ideas; a blossomed scent of debonaire

Although, every time I spy a sneak it's to never greet and see him

But, to utter disappointment he keeps the mystery from my 'ware

 

To convince my peers is no avail. The stories of my good luck runt

And I have to laugh aloud while singing  "au contraire mon fraire"

At least the buzzing bees do listen and the songbirds in vines above 

As we gossip how none may look away from his doings in day to day affairs

 

Flutterbys and dragonflies gather too, bout the working gnome

Grand bugs lady and caterpillar slugs laze beneath toadstool nugs; an audience along his thoroughfare

With him i try all too hard, still only glimpsing a speedy hat on a pudgy pole

And observe the ground as earthworm digs and know he’s truly there

 

Petals twirl within his wake as pin wheels would. Anyways, that's how the ole legend goes

Like a jumping frog from flower to flower; pulling strings knit from the spider’s silk

Then sweet as nectar is, beginnings to weave such a touching prose

A tapestry becomes a garden poem metaphoric, written in soft white tears; ink wept from the thistle’s milk

 

To witness such display; details etched in fine bright ribbons as the Romantics written scripture

My dear fellows these are mere evidences of all his perspired wrought

And every time I try to read them I must sneak up behind him there

Then he swiftly changes verse and begins to tend a further nurtured thought

 

Yet from somewhere I can always hear his teasing giggle

And my inquiries go in and out falsetto because no one do dare tell

Where it is he hides away under flower shadows why he has to be so fickle

Still his magic spreads like wildfire, a light mist that is until...

 

Round about mid-June when he finally offers me a face to face, to say what he has say

“Looksee” he says “this finished garden is a gift from me to you; a living breathing kind of poem”

And I notice all the stems aligned are verses on a trellis woven; a sprawling rainbow in a serendipitous array

So logically, my next query is to the favor "what is it that I owe him?" 

 

His answers are in silence; merely broken by a low north wind's sigh

Then busy feet once again, this time evermore faster preparing for the coming cold cold season

And again, the sprite eludes my eyes but now I understand his quick and scrupulous reply,

His determination, now of a different mood, and why he must begin a new, as our thoughts now are fused "for beauty to continue on, she must die and be born anew, as another line and rhyme and but still bringing happiness is the reason"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Give me your wonderful ideas on how to improve on this poem.

Reviews

[Beccy]

Gosh, so different, yet still the same magical feel. Much enjoyed!

Beccy.

[Beccy]

Nothing to improve really. It's a fun and magical write that brings your busy little gnome to life.

Perhaps, just perhaps the last verse is a tiny tad cumbersome and out of sync with the rest of the natural and whimsically lovely flow of the poem. I thought maybe...

'Answers; silences merely broken by the north wind's sighs,
then busy feet once again, this time moving faster,
preparing for the coming autumn air;
yet still the sprite eludes my eyes but now I understand
his sharp reply, his determination to create another poem,
one that will be birthed by the spring of the following new found year.'

Hope you don't hate me for suggesting. Beccy.

[Michael G. Smith]

Actually, I LOVE IT!! I believe this what Writerscafe should really be about, honest criticism. Give me some time to get around to editing in your inspirations. We need to do a collaboration.

[Michael G. Smith]

Ok, so I add your changes but they inspired me to rewrite the darn thing. So, thank you for that. I spent three hours on this thing, please tell me what you think. I did give you credit.

[Rita L. Sev]

A vivid tale with the feel of a fable. So, your Muse is a gnome, eh? ;) Enjoyed this, Mike.

[Michael G. Smith]

Nice, you are the first to pick up on this. The whole idea came from me thinking there's a gnome in my ear whispering poems to me. Rita you are on smart cookie.

[Ranger Kessel]

I enjoyed it. The style is nice. It makes me want to write something of my own. Nice work:)

[Michael G. Smith]

Thanks, glad I inspired you, now go forth and write.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Michael, I love this!....What a great idea!!!...If I had to give some advice on altering it, If it were mine, I might try to cut the lines in half and double the length of each stanza. So the first one would be something like...
"It's neither a mole nor a gopher
but a mole in my Eden
busy tending to the flowers
all dressed up in fashion flair
Every time I try and look
I never see him
Yet, Under the moon
A shadow constant moves
and I know he's really there"

That somehow emphasizes each part of each line and gives a greater impact to your beautiful, artful words. Love it!

[katy83]

May I ask what age group this poem is intended for? I think kids would love this, there is a lot of imaginative descriptions, however, some of the language used would perhaps not fit with a child reader.

[Michael G. Smith]

Whichever age can read it. I tend to write towards a more mature reader but I always keep my work clean without vulgar language and stay away from erotic themes. Younger readers may not be up to some of the vocabulary I use but they will not be shocked by my subject matter. I do shy away from using too many unfamiliar words as not to alienate the reader. May, ask what you thought of the poem itself?

[katy83]

I actually liked the poem, very much so. The reason I asked about the age was beacuse I could imagine myself reading this as a child and being taken into a world of fantasy. I love the theme, very imaginative writing :)