where is my home

when I was home

I had a dream, a plan

a future to build

I wanted to go to a specific college, the same one that is now destroyed because of the war

I was planning to stay and be a scout leader, all my friends are leaders now, but where the hell am I?

I loved space and science, I wanted to learn about the stars

I wanted to keep writing and never loose my voice

I never thought i would escape to sing language instead of hurting my self

A very smart move, though.. I never thought that I would want to hurt my self

I never thought my smile would fade

and I would be mad all the time

mad and angry about everything I couldn't achieve

because I keep thinking that I'm lazy and useless

AND NOW İ HATE HOW İ F**KİNG FEEL

and i hate that i have to stay here

and that i had to leave my hope and my dreams

and my home and my everything

and that i can't get over it

and that i am stuck with this s**t

and everyday it just get worse

and it doesn't stop

and my rage doesn't ever stop

instead it keeps growing bigger and bigger

and i keep feeling angry and bad

and I keep fading away

lost in the crowd

going crazy

feeling all sorts of s**t

and I can't do anything about it

I just want to go home

but I have no home to go to

I have no me to run back to

I am stuck between both words

and i don't know the way back

and I can't find the road to move on

I am lost 

somebody please tell me

How to find a way out

Where is my home?

Reviews

[M.E.Lyle]

You're really angry and hurt right now. You feel stuck in a hell hole that has no exit. You search for answers to questions, but find none.
I can't tell you where home is, only you can find it, and you will, someday.
Clouds do have silver linings somewhere. I hope you find yours.

[Cara]

thank you. I'm starting to feel that not belonging anywhere is an advantage really... I'm still mad, but I'm trying to focus on what I do have and I hope it helps put down some flames